Ok so I’ve made it to a month,tbh I thought I’d be more happier,but I’m feeling a little bit low tbh,I’m alittle but worried that the new Ness of it is warying off,I have everything in place and I’ve work my ass off to put the ground work in for a solid recovery,I’m starting smart recovery in 2weeks,I check in here daily to share and to help others if I can,I do daily yoga,I see my drug worker on a regular basis,I’m attending art therapy ,so I feel I’ve done everything in my power to secure the best outcome,which is to not use,so I’m wondering why I’m feeling so low,I know it’s nearly that time if the month for me so I’m thinking that could be alot why I’m feeling like this.so I’m here I’m clean and I know that this feeling won’t last forever.happy healthy Monday to you all.xx
I think it’s just part of the process. I had the same experience & I’ve read similar stories countless times on here. Not drinking/using does eventually become a new normal though. Just be patient & be extra nice and forgiving to you for a while 
Good day Emma, glad you are checking in and sharing. I at times wonder the same thing. I think it is “normal” but still baffling at times.aybe two possibilities. 1) you are doing great for a month, and that addictive person inside you is trying to get back in control. Trying to add doubt about happiness and question the importance of your decisions. Right now you are at an critical point. Stay in control, the happy days will come. Just think about the month and the memories you have with your children being sober. 2) Getting ready to start sucks. (I am a guy, but married and have a daughter who’s cycle is just starting 
Hang in there, as you said, you have laid a great foundation. Give yourself time to finish the house.
Well done Emma. A month is great work.
Now, here’s the rub.
We still get down days as well as normal days as well a high days.
That’s life, whether we are using or not.
The trick is to face whatever life throws at us without using anything to help.
Face it naked and raw! Learn to deal with life without the crutch.
You’re still very early days yet!
But I will tell you that it’s not rainbows and unicorns farts. It’s life. We live it!
But I’m so happy that I can now live life without having to be drunk or high. That’s where the joy of sobriety is for me!
Whatever gets thrown my way!
Hay Emma congratulations on your month my buddy @anon12657779 has just given you some excellent advice… as 4 that time of the month it’s a bastard !!! Remember it will pass . Happy Monday lovely lady x
Thanks @Mephistopheles @anon12657779 @Glyko @Natnat @ChristopherX
All of what you have said makes sense especially @Mephistopheles I’m very much instant gratification kinda gal I’ve lived like this all of my adult life,so I’ve learnt today by sharing that amongst other things this truly nerds to be worked on,and I will with a clean and sober head on my shoulders.xx
Hi Em, lots of good advice here. I don’t have much new to add to the conversation, but there is this: it means a lot to me, personally, to hear your story of living and growing and experiencing your life and emotions and relationships sober.
You and I have been sober for about the same length of time and I am going through a roller coaster ride some days with my emotion. Sometimes I just get so down on myself. Other days I feel peaceful, and there are times I feel happy as well (I like to play the guitar and have lunches with friends).
It means a lot to me, to see you on here, the way you support others and share your story. What you do shows so much courage. So much.
I think as addicts we’re used to living in an imagined world: if only I could be this, if only she could be that, if only things were more _____. We run to escape what we think could happen, or what we think didn’t happen, or how bad or angry or afraid or bored we feel with the world and the fact that it doesn’t - guaranteed! - line up perfectly with how we think it should work. (Life, right? 
)
I think you and I are learning how to be in the world, and accept it as it is. There’s a mindfulness tradition that teaches three red flags for unhelpful thoughts - they come from want, from aversion, or from delusion (projecting our imaginations into the world and calling it truth) - but also that these thoughts can be held by us, reflected on, and as we think them through with strategies like “And then what?” (I want to do ____. And then what? ____. And then what?), we realize they’re not what we want or need. And they lose their power. And they pass. This, too, shall pass.
I hear you. It is a bewildering journey we’re on. But if we’re going to be on this journey at least it’s nice to be here with this group. I personally have been very thankful for your supportive, kind voice here. You might not realize it, but you’re a valuable member of the community.
Thanks for being here Emma. I’m looking forward to continuing on the road with you.
Matt you have a very kind soul,I hounred to be on this journey with you your comments always make a difference in my day.x
All part of the journey @Lilemm. 
Good for you on your month!! Great work and keep moving forward. You have lots of thoughtful feedback here. Many of us get to that huh? what now? point…and often that is when the dig deep work begins. We all want it now, right now…we want the fix of feeling great. But life, even sober, isn’t always fabulous or about feeling great. How do we respond when we are anxious or unsettled or out of sorts? How do we learn to navigate all that life offers? By being present in our feelings…observing them…letting them go. Each moment is an opportunity to truly be present in our lives. I am reminded of this daily. Being sober isn’t a magical fix for all of life…but it DOES remove the chaos, anxiety, self defeating patterns, etc etc when we put in our work on recovery…like we are doing here.
Gosh, sorry for the ramble…need more (or less?) coffee. 
Know that you are doing great at 1 month and recovery takes time. Be gentle with yourself and keep moving forward.
Thx Emma. Hoping you have a good day today. (Or if it’s bleh that you live the blehness for awhile! ) Take care 
I was feeling this way just after a month. For two days I did nothing but lay on the couch in a bad mood but then I felt the cramps. I havent felt the natural affects of a period in a very long time. Normally that time of the month I would overindulge in everything to mask the pain and inevitably make myself feel worse the next day. But I realized what was going on and knew those feelings would pass and they did once it arrived and I got my energy and happiness back. Unfortunately for us female addicts we have to deal with everything that comes with recovery plus the added hormonal fluctuations that naturally happen to our body each month. Not always a good time but dont let it get you down. Stay strong bc you know as a mom you gotta be on the ball for your kids this time of year. I’m excited for Christmas but I also cant wait for it to be over honestly. Good days will keep coming as long as you make it thru the bad ones. Keep it up lady 
I couldn’t say that any better. It’s so so true. And it’s important to remember everyone sober or not has emotional ups and downs.
One day at time. Yes it’s cliche but it keeps us going.
Wow this is why I love this community,I use to do the same when it was that time I would use as it was feelings that I didn’t want(any excuse ah)thanks so much it put so much in prepective for me.xxbig respect and merry Christmas.xoxo
@Lilemm A bunch of great support and feedback on here. I just want to say congratulations on one month. It’s a big deal.
Omg! mate thank you for this share so much.
Thanks that really does mean alot.xx
Emma, you are doing amazingly. It’s a trying time, and you’re smashing it. Plans in place, getting support when you need it. You’ve got this, stay strong - you’ve got it in you - you’ve proved yourself already! X
Hi Emma,
I felt the same in terms of the initial buzz of being sober goes. My biggest problem has been that for a good portion of the nearly 90 days sober I’ve felt shit! Chest infection, colds and generally run down. A couple of times I’ve got pissed off and said well if I’m going to feel shit like this and run down I might as well get pissed up.
But the reality is I would feel worse and have mental health strain as well as illness. How strange is it that my brain would even have that thought. But as people have already said on this thread, we are just like anyone else when we are sober. Up days and down days and yes we get poorly and get infections and colds and sometimes feel run down.
A month is impressive, however I see your bio you used opiates for 15+ years. It will take longer than a month for your brain to repair. I used opiates 20+ years and I started feeling really good about the 90 day point. You will most likely have to deal with PAWS throughout your healing process, but hang in there, it does get better