What time ya thinking?
I don’t have the paper on me right now but my wife said she’ll call tomorrow to find out what time she’s doing the acupuncture, Thursday.
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Just let me know and I can see what I can do!
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We head back to Syracuse tomorrow. Friday is our appointment to find out if everything went well. I’m not going to lie, I’m pretty nervous. I have a rough idea on how I’m going to take the bad news if it does come. I’ve always considered myself a practical dude, especially after I decided to take my life back. I’m just worried about my wife. She seems to be showing symptoms of being pregnant… but… not knowing for sure is taking up a big part at the back of my mind.
I don’t even know if I can go a second round because my wife has a tendency of extremes. She can be on top of the world one day and completely void of emotion the next. It’s going to take all my 'know how" to steady the ship. We have our little grandson you see and I’ll be content with raising the little guy tbh. If the Lord doesn’t want me to have a child, then that’s just the way it is. I’ll learn to accept that.
I also know that I have to handle all of this Sober. Drinking and doing Blow isn’t the answer to this. I get a bit pissed just thinking about it. What if she is pregnant though? I’m at a crossroads here it seems and which ever way it goes, I will do so Sober because this new life I’m living right now means so much to me. I’m glad I have this little app to express myself with everyone here. These aren’t things I can just post on FB or talk to with anyone. I believe I got that from my mother… Thank you all.
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Thanks for sharing friend. Of course you’re nervous. Exciting times. Hang in there. You’re in it together right. Thinking of you both.
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IVF is an emotional rollercoaster without any control to the outcome. The way you feel is completely normal. You can get lost counting the odds, checking symptoms, planning but not knowing what, preparing for the not yet known news, not knowing how to feel because you have the same reasons to assume everything and the opposite at the same time. It’s crazy. I don’t really have any advice, just hang in there.
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Nervous times Carlos - I completely understand. I went through the same thing with my wife.
Having a stable, sober emotion regulation toolkit here is crucial. I won’t sugar coat it: there is at least as much chance this won’t work as there is that it will. Practice - go through it mentally - how you will handle it if it works, but also if it doesn’t work. (You will need to grieve - it is the same, emotionally, as if you are grieving a deeply loved family member or friend. It takes time and it is painful and regretful.)
The emotional rollercoaster is very intense. Be prepared.
You mentioned your wife is also on an emotional rollercoaster. (Totally normal.) Her emotional rollercoaster is amplified by the physical trials as well (the hormones, the recovery from the extraction, etc). Most of the responsibility for steadying the ship (logistically and emotionally) falls to you. Keep yourself grounded so you can handle it.
IVF (and pregnancy), like parenting, is full of things we cannot control, despite how much we might want to. We addicts are famous for having trouble surrendering control. A lot of what you’ve done for your recovery so far applies to your IVF journey as well. Trust your toolkit! It works 
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Sending strength and hoping for the best.
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I have been thinking of you Carlos. Sending strength.
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We’re here for you Carlos, no matter what the outcome is. 
Sending you good vibes and strength. 
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I would like to thank everyone for the support. Y’all are the best.
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We just found out the egg didn’t take hold. I can tell she’s torn up about this and I’m going to give her the space she needs. I took a risk and it failed badly. So, with that being said, I’m going to move on from this and continue on with my life.
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I’m so sorry.
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I’m sorry to hear that Carlos. I remember when that happened with my wife. In fact, the egg not taking hold happened several times. Each time - each time - it was devastating to her.
I realized after some reflection that it was heartbreaking to me too. I responded differently but it was unquestionably heartbreak.
You are grieving. This is grief. It is the loss of a dearly cherished hope, a dear love, a precious one. You grieve that loss.
You are not alone - the findings of this study will probably strike a chord with you now (the summary findings are presented here - it’s short):
You should seek out support in your grief. You are not alone. Do not stay silent; I know it’s painful but the road ahead, for you, is about facing your pain, expressing it, sharing it, and weaving it into your life. You can’t run from this pain. You need to see this scar, understand it, and make it an accepted and shared part of your experience.
I grieve with you Carlos. I understand.
Another article. Informative. It isn’t meant to be discouraging; it does help with perspective; you are not alone.
I will read this and you’re absolutely right
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Thank you very much
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I’m so sorry! Giving her space is a good choice. But think about yourself too. Processing all those emotions can be really hard. Be kind to yourself.
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Very sorry for you both Carlos. Take good care of yourself and each other. Hard times.
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