Sober 135 days now. And going well. I’ve been out with friends, told everyone I don’t drink anymore. Faced the usual questions, the shock, the intrigue. I live in Ireland so you can imagine. I’ve socialised with friends while they drink, that’s gone OK but I did leave early (the Irish goodbye lol)
Recently my wife has had a few nights out with friends. she’s not a big drinker but enjoys a drink when she’s out. I’ve been very jealous of her lately in that respect. Proud of where I am on my journey but very jealous and ashamed that I’m jealous, but jealous none the less!!
Any experience of this? Any tips? Get over myself?
Ive experienced somewhat similar. Not with my husband (bcuz we are both clean and sober) but just with other people in general. I used to get jealous of the person who could have 1 drink, sip on it, and be fine and not have that obsessive thinking for more. But a quick reminder of how Im not capable of doing this, brings me back to reality. I am not like the “normies” lol. And ive accepted that fact many years ago. U arent missing out on much honestly anyway. You ARE missing out on a hangover, not remembering the night, debt, physical and memtal pain, the list goes on. Truly its sooo much better being sober.
My wife drinks every night but I have to separate our journeys. Although together, we are separate beings and as such separate to need to decide our own alcohol pathways.
Try to be happy for your other half it’s not her problem it’s ours and that’s why not drinking is best for us.
It can feel like a loss not drinking but you need to fill that void with other beneficial things.
Maybe avoid the pub for a while and therefore avoid the jealousy of being around people and your wife that can stop after several drinks unlike us x
Yeah, if it were me I would pray to my Higher Power and say something like:
“Please be taking from me this jealousy toward my wife for being able to drink, and please be keeping me from feeling this way anymore. Thank you, amen.”
If you’re not into praying, you could say as an affirmation (speaking into existence): I do not desire drinking anymore, and I do not allow myself to feel jealousy toward the people I love who do enjoy drinking. Drinking is okay for her, but it’s not good for me, and I know this.
You could journal, write down what you’re feeling and why.
Release that toxic sh*t and let it go @Fahym2, stuff like that in your head doesn’t serve you. Wasted energy. Haven’t you drank enough in your life? You’re not missing out. Been there, done that.
I Irish goodbyes. My favorite to practice in all circumstances.
Jealousy is an indicator. What do you wish for yourself that you are perceiving she has? But take alcohol out of the mix, what is the answer? Once found, try to meet this answer by yourself in a way that is not using.
Also, I love you admitted jealousy, takes a lot of awareness and courage. Admirable.
Irish goodbyes. My favorite to practice in all circumstances.