Judgement Peeps at Church

I am having some pains with this Christian Church I am in. The leader knows about my recovery yet he told me that I can no longer serve the ministry due to my condition. Im still having flashbacks of it. Any thoughts?

Bit bad that considering Christianity is supposed to be a forgiving faith.

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Excuse me? :astonished: That church donā€™t deserve you in! Find a new one!

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Wowā€¦ Iā€™d be finding a new church. Iā€™m so sorry this happened hun! :sparkling_heart:

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We are all flawed humans and the Christian faith points that out in many ways. To deny someone service to the church because of their missteps would be to deny everyone service. Because everyone has made missteps. The notion that a church leader is any more perfect than the rest of us flies in the face of Christianity itself, yet there is still a pedestal in place for these leaders.
The good thing about churches is that there are usually a bunch of them and you can find the right one for you.

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Please be very careful here. They are in the wrongā€¦they should congratulate you, support you and go alongside you in your ministry. Yes you obviously will have to be accountable but in a compassionate and friendship way. The reason a I say be careful is that it is often more difficult to find a new church than one thinks. Make sure you donā€™t jump from ā€˜the frying pan into the fireā€™. I did for different reasons and it took me years to find an alternate ā€˜home/churchā€™. If you feel strong enough educate them by your example and through prayer and example change their mind set. They may come to acknowledge they were too hasty etc. God be with you.:pray:t2::two_hearts:

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Remind him that Moses was a drunk, as you make your way out the door to a better church. :wink:

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Im not much a believer of the new testament but jesus turned water into wine.

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Yes he did and sadly I used this as an excuse to keep drinking wine. In my ā€˜defenceā€™ I could tolerate it well at times and at other times not but the unpredictability got me into hot water :cry:

I serve in ministry at my church. I didnā€™t discuss my recovery with anyone there, as my drinking had yet to adversely affect what I do, nor has my recovery.

I can understand your pastors concerns, as thereā€™s scripture which supports not having those dealing with addiction, or issues of moral turpitude serving in ministry. Not knowing enough about your particular addiction, what impacts it had on your life, legal, relational, etc. I would not rush to condemn him for thinking this way.
I would have a discussion with him though. Iā€™d ask him ā€œat what point in my recovery would I my willingness and suitability to serve be reconciled through grace?ā€. ā€œBy what worldly metrics will I be measured, days, months, meetings, shekels or mint leaves?ā€

If he canā€™t give you a suitable answer, find another church, preferably one that preaches both scripture and grace.

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I could definitely see how many christians would find it ok and justify to drink wine because of this. Im sure many had this stinking thinking. Ive had homemade wine that put me on my ass in 2 glasses. So its not innocent. Its a wonder churches are not against women because eve ate the apple not adam?

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Adamā€™s was the greater sin, as ā€œAdam was there alsoā€. While the serpent tempted Eve, he did nothing to stop it, and then went ahead and ate, without the temptation to do so. There were no ā€œmitigating circumstancesā€ in Adamā€™s case.

Not a sermon. Just a thought.

Hahaha thats like everyone on here blaming thier friend from taking that drink from them. You are control of you not others. Did an alcoholic write this blasphamy?

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I shared my addiction with my pastor years ago when I first tried to get sober. I was in a small leadership role and offered to step down. He asked me to stay and said heā€™s not worried about people who are working on addressing these problems and my addiction may give me a unique perspective to help others struggling with similar things.

Much to my own shame, when I relapsed and gave up on my program, I didnā€™t step down or even tell my pastor.

My advice: Talk to your pastor, request to remain serving in the capacity you have been, and have a discussion about boundaries and check-ins.

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I try to be careful not to mock the faith of others, out of ignorance and pride. Something worth considering, perhaps?

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It sucks, but it reminds me of what a Pastor once said to me. ā€œBy the very definition of Christianity, humanity is broken and imperfect. While one would hope that in a Church people will act on their best behavior, they are still broken.ā€ Judgement happens, humans by their very nature judge, regardless of location. Heck, it happens here. One member was made fun of, a form of judgment, and she left. A group of us were just judged in the lounge for something we did with our profiles. Humans judge other humans. What matters most comes down to 2 things: 1) our actions towards others, and 2) how we comport ourself in the face of judgment.

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Sorry to be such a judgemental person. Everyone claims the forum isnt the same . They want the same feel we had then but its plain as day why. Before we laughed and joked even poked fun at each other with our help. No one was offended. Now we have a forum full of new soft skin. It seems everyone forgot to relax and have fun. Now everyones pants are soiled over some tough love or cant take the criticism from others or even a memeā€¦ Its getting petty around here ā€¦I started that in the lounge on purpose. Mainly just to see the rise of all the forum queensā€¦ Thank youā€¦ Now everyone can judge me tooā€¦ Difference is i dont care what others thinkā€¦ Im who i amā€¦flaws n allā€¦

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No need to appologize, you are who you choose to be, and if that makes you happy, then be happy. I assure you, my pants are not soiled.

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Thatā€™s just wrong, find a new church. Iā€™m Christian. Iā€™m United, my Minister is a super cool guy, he knows my story and he often asks how Iā€™m doing. He let us run our NA meetings in the choir room free of chargeā€¦its not a religion thing itā€™s an opinion thing. Find a new church my friend, it seems the one youā€™re at is a bit stuck in the past :frowning:

I can get behind this completely. @Barry it may be that he has reasons for his decision other than to pass judgement on you even though that feels like what hes doing.
It could be out of concern for the congregation: we as humans are weak and full of excuses sometimes when we want to do something we know we shouldnt and he may be worried that theyd use your past transgressions to justify their ownā€¦ ā€œWell (pastor/deacon/etc.) did it so I can tooā€ after some time in recovery that argument wont hold weight for them though
It could be out of concern for you: an attempt to spare you from having them pass judgement on you or maybe he feels you need time to focus on yourself and he doesnt want the added burden of having to lead a congregation while you strengthen your resolve and become more stable in your recovery.
That question is key though, if he cant or wont answer it remind him that there was once this fella named Saul that was about as bad as they come and God saw fit to speak to the church through him.
Just remember though, Saul had to wander the road to Damascus blinded for 3 days before he could be Paul, but if you feel youā€™ve served your sentence and he isnt giving you a fair chance then maybe it is time to find a new church. Also for what itā€™s worth the sermons that have stuck with me the most over the years came from pastors who were reformed alcoholics and drug addicts, Iā€™d take any one of them over a theology graduate any dayā€¦I have no doubt youā€™ll find the right fit for where you belong :slightly_smiling_face:

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