Hey guys, so I now have 152 days clean after years and years of IV opiate use (among other things) I moved back home with my parents (I’m 27) and they have helped me so much with sobriety… Now come my concerns… My Dad has drank for as long as I can remember, he’s always gone to work on time, provides for my family, we’ve always been well off because of his hard work. Hes what I would call a functioning alcoholic. Addiction runs on his side of my family and my mom is a complete not lie (never drinks or drugs, never has). It’s gotten to the point where my mom has had to give my dad an allowance per paycheck or it gets spent on beer. I’ve tried talking to him. My parents have fought countless times about his drinking, yet he REFUSES to see any problem. He says he can stop if he wants to but he doesn’t want to… Help? How do I get him to see this is a problem that’s not just about will power, but is a real problem… I’ve always been a Daddy’s girl, but see my parents 34 year marriage suffering because he revolves everything around drinking, but dents being an addict… (Hes fully aware that his mom, brothers, uncles and now both daughters have all suffered from meth and heroin addiction). He thinks because he only drinks it’s not a problem…
As much as it sucks to hear, there is nothing YOU can do or say to make him see his problem. You can be honest with him about what you see and hopefully it may turn on a switch but he has to see it for himself
I am sorry your family is feeling the painful
effects of your Dad’s drinking. Sadly, we cannot talk or guilt or cajole someone else into sobriety. We all need to come to sobriety on our own. Your Dad isn’t there. You could always try inviting him to AA or NA meetings with you, if you go. Tell him you need his support. Just a thought.
In reality, it is best to stay in our own lane and keep our focus on my selves and what we can control…our own recovery. Try not to get pulled into the maelstrom of someone else’s addiction…that is not a safe place to be.
You can still love your Dad and not love his addiction. 
Thank you everyone for kind words. I knew, because I used to be the same way in my active addiction, that there is nothing I can do to make him stop… I think i am going to try and invite him to a meeting with me though. I moved almost 1500 miles and he knows I’m a little shy" so maybe he will go with me and something will stick. It’s so much different dealing with my own sobriety cause im in control. His sobriety has to be his own, its hard watching a loved one going through something I know so well. If I could just ask that you keep my dad and family in your prayers, I would greatly appreciate it!
Hi Kacey…
Nicely done on those 150+ clean days!!
My husband views drinking as tied to his manliness. Even though he has often been unable to hold a job for any length of time or support his family as a direct result of his drinking. Only he can change his mindset and his relationship with drinking.
I think the idea of asking your dad to go to a meeting for support is a good one.
Glad you’re here!
That sounds like a really good plan, @Memphisbeauty! Good luck to you and please let us know how it goes.
First, outstanding on your clean time. I have this issue with my brother. Nothing any of us can say will change it. When I get frustrated because of this, I say the Serenity Prayer "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.