After my accident my family and I have been walking around due to me drinking and driving. Today I had to walk my boys up to their dental appointment and on our way up I saw a full shot of vodka. I grabbed it and held it, thought about whether or not to drink it… I grabbed my sons hand and kept it. I put it in my bag and tried to think that it’s okay because I’m not driving and I feel like shit because of my arguement with my boyfriend and IT’S JUST ONE SHOT. I continued our walk, went through the evening. Still holding onto it for a “Just in case I need it” moment. Does anyone else feel like they should hold on to a “Just in case”? Currently I’m 23 days sober. No support, alone in this.
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First, thank you for your help @Sobriety . I can relate to that feeling. Yes, you are alone in a way because your family/friends will not understand what you’re going through. I get it because I got it. And, I had to walk, ride bicycles, trains, taxi’s for over a year. Whatever it takes. I had to go any length to get a fix and today I go to any length to stay sober. Second, you got to walk with your kids. For me, that’s something to be grateful for because it could be worse like jail or death. I have much to be grateful for but sometimes I don’t see it. Last, in my opinion, “just in case” sounds like a justification. A reason to say, “I knew it.” Like a self fulfilling prophecy expecting the worst and focusing your energy towards the negative. What helps me is gratitude. Making lists of 10 things that I’m grateful for like Congratulations on the sobriety for today! 30 days will be a huge accomplishment!
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Congrats to you @Sobriety on 23days of sobrierty! Just in case, dont do it for me. Its a Great reminder if i did it it would ruin my life, i would end up dead. IT would lead me to end my life .i Just know this i have been there before.im not going back is what im thinking today. Be strong and keep your focus on what trigger you to stay sober
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@Sobriety You’ll be setting yourself up for failure if you keep the “just in case” bottle/shot. Eventually you will drink it and you’ll need to start over. Make it easier on yourself and throw it out.
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I’ve had a “just in case” stash of weed in my garage for over 20 years. 17 days ago I through it all out.
Having access to that crutch for me was only setting myself up for failure. Also, because I knew it was there it consumed my thoughtsand when I had a chance I would sneak out there and fire it up. My family was totally unaware. Then I would feel instant remorse. I couldn’t kiss or hold my wife and kids because of the fear of them smelling it. I got tired of feeling like I was living in the shadows.
What I am realizing is that life is to beautiful to numb or distort it.
Your walk with your kids is a blessing. Don’t let something in your bag take away from that.
Temptation robs us of our happiness.
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