I go by the name PridefulBlossom, but Remi is fine too 
I’ve been using the sobertime app for a couple weeks, never did i knew there was a community option! O.O
My current struggles are Pornography / Masturbation addiction. Felt into it when i was around 12-13 years old, stuff got worse, and tried to quit since September 2017. Now I am 21…
I wonder if there are more people here who struggle with the same addiction.
Hi there, welcome to this great forum.
Hey, first off welcome! This is an amazing community. Especially if your active and open and honest on here, ive met some really great people. As for the sex addiction i cant really speak on that, but im aware there is a private thread for males on the subject. Im not a part of that so again cant really speak on it, but knowing how great the people are and this forum is i would imagine its helpfull. I beleive @Matt can invite people to it. If your having any trouble send me a message and ill see if i can help get you connected.
Again welcome! Hope to see you around!
Thx Doug! @Pridefulblossom Remi I’ve added you to the men’s porn / masturbation recovery thread. I’m sure you’ll find some familiar stories in there, and some help in recovery.
I also would encourage you to consider a program that may help with recovery. There is Porn Anonymous, and there are a wide range of groups for recovery from compulsive sexual behaviour:
You’re taking an important step and you will free yourself from this by learning as much as you can and working your recovery. You’re a good person and you deserve a safe, sober life where you can be your full self, free from porn.
Thank you sir!
Thanks! Glad to be here!
Hey Remi. Recovering sex addict here that struggled with those same issues. If you need help considering 12-step programs, let me know. Best of luck on your journey.
Welcome… I am a female so no I dont personally have the exact issue. But i have struggle with it in some form. Just want you to know you arent alone. My ex husband struggled for years. That struggle is real and I watch him battle it refusing to reach out for help. So I’m glad to see men here seeking help on the issue and I wish you all the best.
I really love this forum. I try to keep up so that maybe I will be enlightened on how to handle the situation in the future.
Do you mean the situation of a man in your family who is struggling with porn? Sorry I don’t mean to be nosy, I’m curious what you mean 
Well my ex husband mostly. We are still friends ans he still confides in me. I also know plenty of other women with men who are struggling and I hate when the women shame or embarrass or whatever their men. I want to have good advice to give them.
Welcome,
There are plenty who struggle and share their story here with PMO, I befriended a few, some real good people. My thing about it was wanting to understand it more,
While porn or masturbation was never my thing, when I was younger I always found a new flavor of the week, mostly because society told me how being desired by multiple females, is somehow a status quo, I would consume it, to the point where I didn’t have a female friend I haven’t had sex with,
In my eyes porn is very destructive, it gives a false representation of expectations, and when you find out all about the behind the scenes stuff, how the actors are treated, the numbing agents etc. it makes it less interesting
Mmm yes I understand. When porn becomes more appealing than partnered sexual connection, it’s a problem. And it’s so intimate, so vulnerable, for the person who is cut out 
It hurts.
There is more here; I’m going to bed but I’ll check in tomorrow. I have more I can share and I’d be interested to hear your interests and thoughts as well.
Yes it does… I felt like something was wrong with me. And when he was hidimg it from me in the beginning he made up all sorts of things that were wrong with me as the reason he didn’t wanna be intimate with me. It crushed me. I gained alot of weight got super depressed. Amd eventually starting drinking which is my DOC and reason for being here on this app
Exactly my point regarding porn,
It gives a false representation, and can make your partner feel insecure, it can destroy your relationship
One of my most positive traits I been told is how I build confidence and self esteem in my partner, I can see PMO destroying that
I’m sorry your feeling that way, it’s hard to overcome when you feel like your unloved and unwanted
So after my divorce I moved on and the porn addiction was more devastating than when the next guy had multiple affairs on me.
Either way both have done damage,
I’m sorry you went through that. But now is the chance to rise and over come the shackles of the past and breach the new horizon
That’s heartbreaking Kayla - I’m sorry you experienced that. As you commented above, it’s time for you to rise like the phoenix from the ashes - and you’ll walk your sober path stronger, wiser, and more self-aware and independent.
Patrick Carnes (a counsellor who has researched and written extensively about sex and porn addiction) describes porn and sex addiction as problems that arise from our culture not really training us in courtship.
We don’t know how to walk the path of intimacy because for generations, we’ve neglected to really practice the path of intimacy in a healthy, conscious way.
In my experience I agree with him. As I’ve worked my recovery I’ve also asked my wife to attend couples counselling with me, and a partner support group at my sex addiction recovery clinic. We also have incorporated new routines into our days, like sharing what we’re grateful for at dinner, and doing some “Our Moments” couples conversation cards - look them up they’re fun! - to help have some real heart to heart conversations. None of these activities is physically sexual, but they are central to our intimacy.
Carnes suggests 12 stages of courtship as a guide for intimacy in a relationship. The stages can be repeated or circle back on themselves (it’s not like once you get to one you can’t repeat an earlier one; it cycles over time):
For me this has been important in my recovery. I’ve learned that my love and respect for myself - my own desire for growth and self-love, self-respect - has been underdeveloped, and as a result my intimacy (emotional and physical) was stunted. Working to better understand and grow in healthy ways, to want and act and love and connect in healthy ways, has transformed how I live my life.