Just moved in to find out my landlord smokes dope (meth, sorry) and I relapsed after almost 4 yrs. I’ve been smoking dope all week. I can’t tell anyone. Not right now. With Covid happening, I HAVE to find a new job so I can pay rent since my UI is running out. I can’t tell a soul. I’ve gone through so much loss the past few months and I can’t lose anyone else despite the fact that I’m pushing them away anyways. I also don’t want to quit drinking. I stopped drinking for two years and had the worst time in sobriety. I got 5150d with two years completely sober and started drinking again and was able to at least socialize and make friends. The dope is quickly ruining my life though. I know many of you will tell me to get sober but I have the absolute worst anxiety. Before Covid, I wasn’t a daily drinker by any means. Things weren’t fantastic, but they’ve never been. Covid really messed my life up; I started doing blow often and drinking every day within a couple of months. Now, this. I’m at a loss. Anyone else relapse during the pandemic? How are you dealing with it?
Almost 4 years, man, that’s a doozy. What would you say to your friend if they came to you with that scenario? I honestly think you have the answers since you know the drill… You gotta stop; I’d get out of that housing, it’s not gonna get any better.
You’re right. I just moved to a new town, too. I feel super alone. It was the worst move I’ve ever experienced. I want to think that I can just stop on my own and stay here for a while. My other roommates don’t do that. I’ve been exposed to the drug in the four years I was clean off of it. Honestly, I’m in shock that I relapsed. I never even craved it most of that time, nor did I ever think I’d hit the pipe again. It’s such a slippery slope for me.
Welcome home. I know you said you didn’t want to quit drinking but I don’t know if you’re going to be strong enough to drink and not get high. I was a meth addict as well and everytime I tried to just drink I ended up getting high. Meth is so destructive I pray that you can get away from that shit as soon as possible or you won’t have an apartment to wonder how you’re going to pay for. I’m not trying to be mean but that drug allowed me to destroy everything beautiful in my life and spit me out on the streets. I’m here if you need to talk. You’ll be in my prayers 
It did that to me too. I ended up on the streets, in jail, all that. I had nothing, not that I had much to begin with, but I lost my mind and soul too. You’re right. Every time I drink, I want to do coke, which makes me want to smoke. My triggers have built upon each other and I lost control. Thank you 
I’m totally here for you whenever you need to talk. Few people know the horror of what that drug can do to a persons spirit. I’m proud of you for reaching out in this forum you can do this 
Amen @CapriciousCapricorn I’ve done the same thing for so many years with the same results. F*** that shit for real
I worked the program of AA. I have mental illness (bad depression and anxiety), which was extremely exacerbated by going to meetings and hanging out with other young people in the program. I was for sure more miserable sober than I’ve been since I started drinking again. I just know in my rational mind that meth is not a social drug like alcohol and there is no using it in moderation, especially for me. I’ve considered getting on medication but the thought of being stuck on pills in order to function for the rest of my life scares the shit out of me (much like the thought of being on meth again does).
Thank you so much
Absolutely
Emotional regulation is not my forte, lol. I’m terrified of how I’m going to act over the next week trying to detox.
As I stated in my post, I was sober for 2+ years. I have 4 yrs clean off of meth. I also got 5150d at 2 yrs sober. I was not well then, either.
Edit: had 4 yrs clean off of meth
Some good health insurance would be awesome lol 
You’re right. I’m just overwhelmed with having to find a new place and a job and now quit using? I’m also in school right now, taking summer bio class and will be going full-time in the fall for chem and calculus. Nobody even knows I’m going through this so it’s a lot. Thanks for your input I’m glad I found this site.
Thank you! I just moved to Santa Cruz, CA
Hey try and see the good parts in your actions. Now you are talking to other people and that is an important step.
Take little steps and get back on track.
I am fighting with smoking and I am almost on day 6. Now I know that you have different bad habits but it’s still kinda the same. Nicotine is a hell of a drug.
As you quit something that had control over you for many years it usually leaves an empty space, try to fill that empty space with a good diet, working out or whatever you like.
Sorry for my bad English.
Get back on track, don’t be so hard on yourself and look at your progress. It only gets better with time. GET ON IT YOU CAN DO IT.
Yes, I smoke too and it is very hard to quit. I’ve never quit because of that lol! Thank you. The best way to quit a bad habit is by replacing it with a new one
Sweet another Californian! No offense to anywhere else lol I’ve been feeling like I was the only one from Cali 
Oh yeah, what part?!
San Diego
From an ex-meth head, you have to get off the pipe find more support, maybe NA, you ever try any12step programs? Takes a part of your soul like you said your mind and all your dignity its easy to piss your life away with that shit. Just dont let it sink its claws back into deep use your lil slip up as a short lapse not a full blow’n relapse. Sounds like you have some + sht going for you dont let that sht tear it all down. Dont have to try doing it alone find all the excuses not to use b4 justifying all the reasons to pick up. There is help out here your in a good place for starters, just take it easy.