With all these changes and challenges in my life I’m sure I’m more sensitive to things lately, but something my mom said really upset me. Feel free to put me in my place if I’m being a big baby…
I’ve been honest and open with my mother for a long time. More like I’ve always just partied openly around her and she party’s too. She retired in Cabo San Lucas for crying out loud… Mas Tequila!
So she’s well aware of the journey I’m now on, but when we spoke the other day she said a couple things that rubbed me the wrong way. I was just with her in Cabo over the Thanksgiving holiday. When I was telling her that I was finally going to stop drinking she told me she was so happy and that after I left Cabo on December 4th she “couldn’t sleep for days because of my drinking”. All I could think about was how we partied together the entire time. She was making drinks and pouring me shots… basically enabling me, but losing sleep over it…?
Then we’re talking on messenger a couple nights ago and she’s saying that she’s proud of me for quitting and so happy I’ve been attending AA meetings. Then she throws in the kicker and says she hopes I’ll consider attending NA meetings as well…
I sort of bit her head off. Nothing against NA, but I’ve never been addicted to any narcotic drug in my life. Now attending a meeting when I feel I really need one and I can’t find an AA is another story.
I guess my point is this. Why is being sober for 23 days now and going to AA for support not good enough for her? I need to go to NA meetings too? Maybe I’m being too sensitive, but she’s not ignorant to the situation and she married two different alcoholics. I don’t know, but it made me feel better to share…
I’m not sure I understand her logic. Why both AA and NA? It doesn’t make any sense. I would be upset too, why isn’t what you’re doing good enough? Because 23 days is pretty damn impressive if you ask me.
And the whole feeding you drinks, but being upset by it, kind of contradicting herself.
She probably felt guilty for enabling her son to drink. It’s also hard for a mother to see her son be an alcoholic, going down a dark path, and yet drinking is the only way she could get close to you.
Maybe you caused a scene or said something inappropriate.
Aa and na are interchangeable in my opinion, maybe you had a drug past and she’s worried. Also if you ate sober, and mind altering substance is a drug.
Hopefully you hit up a meeting every single day.
With that being said congratulations on 23 days 
just remember it’s not about her
Yeah, I understand that. Point taken.
Keep on the journey you’re only a few days away for 30! I recently went through a similar situation with my SO. I finally talked to her and explained that she hurt my feelers. We talked it through and I feel better about her understanding my journey.
Mom’s are a whole other can of worms. Great to hear you have a solid relationship with her and from the sounds of it she sounds supportive. Talk to her and explain how your feeling. Then take it from there.
Maybe she doesn’t know how to react to someone that she loves getting clean… maybe she assumes that you’re also on drugs because that’s all she’s seen in her past. Moms sometimes don’t know the exact words and they’re old school ya know… my parents say the dumbest things about my recovery, but I give them a break because I know they love me, they just don’t know any better.
I think she was just joking and being sarcastic. Either way your doing good. Dont let it get to you your doing amazing. I think wee always trying to make our parents proud and little comments can really grind our gears. Keep your head up. She means we’ll. I would laugh it off. 
Thanks for the comments guys. I love this forum and love all of you! The different points of view help me see things from several angles and I appreciate that!
I came from typical 80s party parents. Even to this day my parents are still heavy drinkers which iver time has caused many arguments. They partied with me starting in my teens and at 29 they still would if i hadn’t moved to TX last year. I think you are very valid in your feelings. Unfortunately, i had to cut off much family for similar reasons. Keep up the great work!
If she’s a heavy drinker, your sobriety might be making her uncomfortable. She’s saying things to you that don’t make since and you’re trying to make since of it with that new sober brain of yours . Not everyone in our life will be proud and excited for us when we’re in recovery (mostly because they don’t know what it’s all about and they’re fighting their own battles) Give it time.
Honestly that would set me off too. I agree that it isn’t about her it’s about you. Maybe you had said some stuff about drugs when you were really trashed with your mom and don’t remember? That’s all I can think of. Other than that u r right maybe because she has been around alcoholics she thinks everyone with a problem needs to go to all these meetings and just doesn’t understand because she’s never gone through it herself. Anyways I hope your feeling better. Your definitely not being a baby. I would have been like “wtf r u serious? N/a? Do u even know wtf that is?” Lol at least that would have been my knee jerk reaction. Congrats on your sobriety bro. 
well done on 23 days great achievment keep going to meets your doing this for yourself so dont worry what your mums says as long as you are doing your meets youl be ok
@Steve92, funny you said that… my exact retort was, “wtf? NA? Do you even know what the hell you’re talking about…?” 
@alpine_1975 lol yea. Don’t let it bother you. She isn’t going through what your going through. She was pouring you drinks and then she says she’s so glad u stopped drinking? That’s kind of odd. Maybe she should consider some kind of program herself? U shud say that next time she starts getting under your skin