What a strange day, maybe it’s the gloomy weather. Today wasn’t my best day with my thoughts about myself in my own mind- that place can be dangerous. Im looking back on my past and still wonder what I’ve done to get here. I know exactly what has been done, just sometimes have to think about it. A few days ago I was having some text conversations with one of my wife’s(ex wife?) best friends. Twice she accused me of drinking, said I had been abusing my wife and son for years and years and I was a dead beat dad. I do realize that I was not the best husband or father, but as far as abusing goes, no way. Neglecting definitely, embarrassing yes, maybe got angry a few times. I admit my faults and am on a path of repairing myself. It really hurt to be accused of these things. I also understand I’ve lost trust and that cannot be fixed overnight, if ever. Just at a tough place right now, don’t know what tomorrow will bring. I feel like I just want to go somewhere where noone knows my name and start over. I miss my kid so much, haven’t seen him in over 6months. The so called wife is letting her anger and hurt rule her actions. My son needs and deserves his dad to be around not to be a tool to hurt. I know some will tell me that I probably didn’t see how bad I was treating them, I’m truly am a awesome dad, that had a drinking problem.
Anyways thats my rant for tonight.
Thanks for reading
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