18 months! 
Congrats for the milestone and getting your place!
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Huge congrats on 18 months and taking your life into your own hands Kayla!
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Congratulations Kayla I am so proud of you hell yeah!!! And yes!! You and your girls look very happy and that’s AWESOME!!! 
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We are! Thanks man!
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Thank you! I’m pretty stoked!
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Thanks! It feels great!
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Good for you, I hope it works out for you
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18 months and your own place! This is fantastic! Everybody looks happy and I am happy for all of you!! 
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Thank you!! I mean it’s not much. But it’s mine Yano?
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Day 655
Been awhile since I’ve updated… I have been in a pretty bad place mentally and emotionally… my hypervigilance and paranoia have been through the roof. I thought I was doing okay. Then bam not so much. I moved to get away from that life and the fear… and him. but now I’m constantly afraid I’m going to let my guard down and miss something. That he’ll find me. I’m sure it’s something to do with the time of year. Domestic violence awareness month is always a raw time. But also 2 years ago on the 20th (I didn’t get around to posting bc my daughter had a gnarly toothache. But see picture below) is when I got stabbed and the BAC through the roof. 2 years ago today is when I left my house. And started trying to completely leave him. That along with the financial strain is likely just stressing me out. And now the nightmares have started again.
My 10 year old started having some issues so we are back to seeing the neurologist and have to go get another MRI… praying that it’s nothing related to her previous illness. She’s been in remission for 3 years.
We moved here so they could be closer to their dad and spend more time with him and he promised to be helpful. He hasn’t been. Constantly bailing on his times with them causing me to have to miss work etc.
Buuut I will get through this. It’s just a hiccup. No thoughts of relapse or anything like that. Just been a rough little go if it lately.
On a happier note, We love this place. I’ve made a couple of friends (which anyone who knows me knows that’s not something I’m good at. I tend to isolate) my girls are thriving. My 10 year old made honors choir!! And A honor roll. So excited for her. They are all doing well in school. 7 year old has signed up for violins lessons. And 5 year old is starting gymnastics soon. I have the opportunity for a promotion at work that would allow me to be financially stable and the schedule would work so much better with my life.
So please send all prayers, well wishes, good vibes or whatever your thing is. I’ll take ‘em.
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I’m sending all the good stuff your way. You are truly lucky to still be with us with that BAC. We are fortunate to have you.
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Thank you! Yes I know. They were shocked. Re tested my blood and all bc I was still walking and talking and functional and they couldn’t believe it.
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Always good to see you Kayla! And by and large your story is positive right?
Your BAC would be in the top 3 I’ve seen so far for clients entering the detox facility I’m working these days. Never again lady. Keep going and keep growing. Hugs and love.
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It is positive. I’m alive despite the many many reasons I shouldn’t be. I’m free, im sober and clean, my girls are happy and healthy. Honestly I think the biggest issue is I lost my therapist when I moved and I haven’t been able to find a new one. When these feels came up I was able to address them and nip them. And I think I’ve just let it fester this time. So I got it out here and I’ve gotten excellent positive feedback. Im hoping the outlet alone will relieve it some.
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So…. Life is crazy busy and hectic, more so than usual.
My littlest monster turned 6 on Wednesday. 
I have one in honors choir.
One in Violin.
And one in gymnastics.
I’m working a lot. The extra hours have been beneficial.
I am (hopefully) 2 weeks away from completing my peer support specialist certification class!
I finally faced my PTSD/fear of crowds/etc and went to a concert last Friday. I’m really glad I went. It was time. And now I’m stoked for the next one.
Things are busier than ever. We have a system that seems to be working. Kinda loving life right now. 
Only complaint atm is that while my girls are getting older and understanding more of what’s going on around them, their fathers behavior and treatment of them hasn’t changed. it’s making it more difficult for me to shelter them from the pain that has began and will only get worse. They have all, on separate occasions, realized and asked out loud to me at least once in the last 2 weeks “why doesn’t daddy want me?” That’s a heartache I never wanted them to know.
But that’s me for now.
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I’m soooo proud of you girlie, but you know that lol. Of your hard work and effort. Life is better sober
Congrats to your little one! 
I hope their dad would wake up, smell the coffee and get his head out his arse.
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Always good to hear from you Kayla. Great to read how great you all our doing. Who knows maybe your daughter’s dad will come around some day too. We can always hope. In the meantime you keep doing your awesome stuff!
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@Mno thank you! That is the best and most prayed for outcome. I just want their little hearts to be okay.
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Still an option. I’m just saying.
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Well that one group that says they were planning a “tour” went dark on me.
Micks guy should be back in shape in no time, so I’m kinda stuck building my resume here for the moment
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