Keeping track is driving me crazy

Emotional Support
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2 months. As of yesterday, it’s been 2 months since I watched my baby splash in the tub. Which means it’s been 62 days since I’ve kissed him goodnite.
Today means it’s been 2 months since I held him; 61 days since I’ve seen his face. 61 days since I made him a bowl of oatmeal. 61 days since I’ve heard him laugh.
It’s been 25 days since I’ve used. I’ve gone to 22 NA meetings. In 7 days I’ll miss my sons first Xmas. In 22 days I’m going to miss his first birthday. In 23 days I start treatment for my addiction.

I know exactly how many days it’s been, and how many days until so many things, except for the most important.

I still don’t know how long until I can see my baby again. And that’s all I want right now. I understand that I can’t have full custody again yet, not until I’m totally clean and sober, but just to see him. To hold his hand, kiss his face; it’s been 61 days now, I just wish I knew how many more are left.

1 Like
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Hugs. I can only imagine what you are going through. Keep the faith and you’ll be with him sooner than you think. :heartpulse:

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You can do this and you have a very good reason. Both of your lives depend on it. Please know you are not alone, and remember what got you here and what it will take you to hold him again won’t be easy.
But oh! How sweet it will be when you get yourself and him back. Then never look back. Just keep strong Mamma!