I recently relapsed hard. I have 4 kids. I have crushed them. I have no clue on where to start with them.
Start by not drinking today. Thats the first best thing you can do for them.
I have 5 months today and 3 kids. People just dont realize what a challange it is to work a program and be a mom or dad. It is a hard realization to wake up to the reality of what our destructive drinking has done to our family. The kids make you feel like you are trapped in a vortex and have no release valve. There are days when, as a result of their madness which I know down deep was created by me, a drink is the only thing that seems like will help me escape. Its really hard to see our own growth sometimes so it feels like things are totally broken and will never get fixed. Unfortunately that is not true. The only real change that will get the family back on track is to stay sober.
Even when we think we are drowning. If I really deeply practice the first step and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I can not have a drink because I am an alcoholic and will die or kill someone if I continue to drink them the drink is not an option. The double edged sword of it is that now that I have taken the drink the phenomenon of craving resets and I am locked in the cycle of self hate. Alcoholism is a brain parasite that feeds on misery for control.
Please try as hard as you can to accept step one. Get to a meeting, stand up as a newcomer and keep coming back. The option of drinking could lead you to years and years of misery. You are a beautiful soul and your kids need you but right now be selfish and get the help you need. That is the best action you can take for the future of you family.
“Alcoholism is a brain parasite that feeds on misery for control.”
Truth. Perfect definition.
Very true we are slaves to liquid