I’m only putting this out there so that I can look back at this and remember what happened to my thought process last night. Went to my neighbors for our annual Christmas gift exchange and some dinner. There was no pressure to drink, just the families there. There was eggnog, with or without booze. I had a couple sips of eggnog with booze, then poured it out and said the lactose hurt my stomach. In my mind I told myself good job. But 20 minutes later I went into the kitchen and made a bourbon and coke. My sobriety and my tools did not even come into my head one time. It was like everything I did in the last 24 days wasn’t even real. Like a zombie. As soon as the buzz started I continued to drink until I passed out. God I feel stupid today 
and i feel like iy was because I wasn’t vigilante enough, like I let my guard down and a monster got me.
Google info about the “allergy” to alcohol. It might help you with some prospective on what happened.
There are those of us that believe that we have something akin to an allergy to alcohol. If we take in even the smallest amount of alcohol (like a little spiked eggnog) that it will spark a craving that is out of our control. It’s how people can end up drunk somewhere asking “how did this even happen?!” It’s also the reason we press how crucial it is to stay away from that first drink… In any form
I had to explain it to my wife a month or so ago. The recipe for something she was making called for some wine. I wasn’t about to find out what would happen to me if I took in alcohol, even in that form.
Shit happens pal. You sound pretty resolute on moving forward and that’s a great thing.
I am so sorry to hear that you fell, but what’s important is that you’re here. You’ll get back to it, and feel much better.
I can say that I understand you. I felt this way so many times. Stay away from the first drink.
Hmmm. Seriously it felt like I blacked out before I was even drunk. A disconnect somewhere. I must be more vigilant! Thank you.
It’s human nature to fall, so don’t beat yourself up over n over. Stand firmly on your feet and look that addiction in the eye and TELL it… YOU’RE DONE!!! Not sure what your life is like, but ALWAYS remember…GOD IS THERE WAITING WITH OPEN ARMS AND NO CONDEMNATION!!! Jesus loves you and so do I. Be strong!!!
Thank you. I’m trying. I’ll do better. I understand now the strength of the addiction.
It’s ONLY an addiction if we let it be in control. There are all classes of addiction from gaming to drugs, but it’s our CHOICES that allow it control. Find a CELEBRATE RECOVERY group near you, it’s NOT an AA or anything, it’s based on turning your addiction over to God and changing your life. You’ll meet some good people there with like testimonies and success stories. Be strong brother, yesterday is past, today is here and tomorrow is yet to come.
Sorry, I meant sister…
️
…
It’s good to be honest and seek accountability from folks on the forum. This shows desire to win. Reset. Recommit. Drive on, regardless. Next time you’ll be more vigilant. Next time you’ll remember this time. Next time you’ll win. Always fail forward.
I have tried for 10 year’s to quit, i would last 2 days/months i even managed 11 months. I fell so many times ive lost count, Why? I wish i knew, but im a chronic alcoholic and our brains (and yes we do have one) are wired differently, we slip up then drink more cos we’re so pissed off that we did fall/slip and beat ourselves up for being so weak!! We are not weak!! We have an addiction/illness. You know you made a mistake and feel daft for doing it, but talking about it straight away is great your not trying to hide your mistake and nor should you. Dont know if you have ever tried Antibuse, i only started on Monday but i know i cant drink or will end up in hospital AGAIN. Its not for everyone and only you can decide to start taking it but i have only heard good feedback on its benefits for people like us. I hope this slip/fall/mistake doesn’t set you back, you obviously dont want to do it. Good Luck be strong be safe and just keep trying, thats all we can do after a slip up. Best of luck hope you have a lovely dry Christmas and New Year. One last point, EGGNOG really get a grip 
Joking of course, personally i find a sense of humour or trying to have a laugh helps me feel less like beating myself up over my mistake, takes my mind away from silly thoughts. But seriously EGGNOG!!! 
It was harder than I thought to post it. But you’re right if I keep it to myself, I’m not accountable to anyone. I am learning to be honest about my drinking. It’s hard.
I agree with @Gabe.G it was this that really helped me. Google and read the Doctors opinion in the AA big book, not trying to push AA on you, but it might help you make some sense of it.
I have researched it further and I firmly believe I do have an allergy/intolerance to alcohol, it is linked to other allergies and asthma, I have these and there is medical research confirming this. Now I know I must remain sober or I will become sick again.
I am curios what feedback did you hear about antabus? I am using it but the only thing I know that they will make you to throw up if you drink and thats all
Yeah it was the egg nog man. Every time I get around it I can’t stop myself.
thanks for making me laugh I really needed that!!!
Been thinking about it real hard this last week. I get so much help on here from you guys and was thinking of if was around more people like me it might help…
True it can make you throw up, but thats the least that could happen it can potentially be fatal and im not scaremongering it can be life threatening. As for feedback most has come from other recovering alcoholics who like me have tried Campral (which reduces cravings) but you can drink if you want with no side effects, personally i found it useless, it may have reduced my cravings but im an alcoholic if i want a drink ill have one and i did most days while taking it. With Antibuse i cant have a drink, i may still think about it but knowing the possible consequences it quickly for me anyway stops me doing it. It is not a miracle cure but if you really want to stop, in my opinion along with support and will power its the best deterrent available. You have to take it for 6 months minimum, or you can take it for the rest of your life if you wish. But even 6 months dry gives you time to see life sober and feel and see the benefits of sobriety on your life your mind your health and happiness. This is of course my opinion so of course speak to your doctor and they will give you far better advice than i ever can. Whatever you decide i wish you luck and hope my words can help you in any way possible. Im new to this Forum but please feel free to contact me anytime. Merry Christmas
Oh you kinda made me scared my doctor while giving prescipcion to antabus said that it will.just cauz to throw up if I drink or extremely bad hangover. Nothing about more seriuos consequences in case I would have a drink with antabus
I just call that a false start. Unfortunately, I had many. I am finally convinced in my heart of hearts that one drink one sip could mean death or jail for me. It took me a long time to fully accept the first step.
Listen i understand people just dont know the dangers of nog and mixed with egg its Lethal, i use to be a 2 glass a day man, but after 2 months in the Priory and the love and support of my beautiful wife ive made it thru 
Comedy on YouTube from other alcoholics Robin Williams, Craig Ferguson and many others for me helps, its a horrible illness we have and can cause severe depression( which i still take medication for) but comedy helps me and i hope you can find that something that may help you in any way. Talking is also good and if you ever need a chat please feel free to message me. Your name me_me_me is that cos you think that’s all you think about is me i.e you? Well yes at times we do have to be selfish and put ourselves first at times, But how about your real name or nickname we have nothing to be ashamed of, and people or friends who see us or judge us differently are not worth knowing, negativity is something we dont need. So how about Us-Us-Us as your name because there are lots of Us out there and only with the help of Us can we improve Me.