Welcome @Mat88 and @petr. One of the things I’ve learned in sobriety is to doubt and question and investigate, particularly my own motives and my own thinking. I found that for years my desire to get sober was limited to a situation (usually legal or marital), or to a person.
For me, I stayed sober finally after 30 years of drinking by accepting any and all help offered, by completely surrendering the idea that I could control my drinking, and by focusing just on one day of not drinking at a time. Only 16 or 18 hours, really. I became a radical believer that right now is the only moment that I can influence, not the past or the future, and that I need to do something positive about my alcoholism every day or it will do something about me.
Blessings on your houses 
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