Well I had 6 months clean from cocaine thought I was ready to go out and have drinks at a bar. I didn’t ask for it nor did I say no when it was offered to me. I had about 4 moments before it happened that I knew I needed to go home. A deep down feeling that was telling me to get out of there. I didn’t listen…Monday was my six months. I feel awful and I am so afraid to tell my husband. Thank you for being here for me. I don’t post much, but I read a lot and feel like I learn a lot. I knew better than tonight. I was upset and it was soooooo stupid.
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Consider it an experiment. You tested whether you really knew yourself…and guess what…you were right. Learn and move on. Protecting my sobriety is THE most important thing I do. I changed my lifestyle, my friends, everything. Live day by day and you will get back to 6 months.
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Thank you. I’m just so afraid and ashamed to tell my husband and my parents that I relapsed. I dont want to admit it to them. I hate disappointing them.
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Well, all paths are different. Honesty is freeing.
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For me, sobriety is the state of abstinence from all mind and mood altering substances. I identify as an alcoholic, and I do not feel safe thinking I could smoke a joint (now legal in my state). I think I would get a craving for a drink or at least have reduced ability to say no to a drink. I never took cocaine (yet), but that would probably make me thirsty too.
Your thought that you can abstain from coke and still drink alcohol and still socialize in a bar seems ill considered to me, as a danger to your sobriety. Hold yourself accountable to your self, your spouse, and to those in the sobriety journey with you. Reach out for help in person as well as.on this forum. Change what you are doing and thinking, because what you have done and thought so far has led you back to your addiction.
Please stay clean and sober, you know how great a life that can be! Blessings on your house 
.
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First of all, progress not perfection, and one day at a time. You made it nearly 6 months without relapsing and that is AMAZING! Pretty soon, this will be a blip on your sober journey, and you’ll be able to help others later on who think they can do the same thing. And your family can’t make you feel any worse than you already feel. We are our hardest critics. Rip off the bandaid and tell them. Once it is over there wont be anything for you to dwell on, and you can continue moving forward.
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Congratulations on 6 months. Sorry to hear you are resetting. Going to a bar/pub for a drink sounds like your addicted brain talking to you. I am an alcoholic and would never consider smoking or taking any drug. For me this would lower my inhibitions and I would drink, placing me right back to my drunken stupor where i am terrified i may never return. I never want to struggle with detoxing again and that awful loop of you need a drink, just one, you deserve it. Staying away from all substances as well as places I know I will struggle have kept me sober almost 500 days. When i go to places I know I will be tempted I take my husband, mother, friend, daughter etc with me and explain that I’m worried about my sobriety. Climb back on that sobriety train. You can do this. Tell your sobriety circle of people what happened. Understand why you slipped and work on a plan to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
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I was honest with my husband and family. If feels great to not be hiding and tell lies upon lies. Thank you for encouraging words.
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Good job! Now, just live each day, and slowly you will get stronger.
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