Let me tell you a story

Four years ago I met a man in a bar, and he was drunk. Sweet, but drunk. The next two weeks I decided to meet him again and we got married 4 months later. He was amazing, and sweet. Funny and full of life. We proceeded to move downtown where all of the bars and restaurants were in walking distance. We had a blast, but that eventually became a problem. His drinking was getting out of control.

He went from taking a shot of tequila at the bar to buying them at the corner store and shooting them while watching a movie on a Monday evening.

I got depressed, high anxiety…I started binge drinking on the weekends. Misery loves company right?

I was stuck and could not crawl out of this hole. Every time we would decide to quit drinking because it was destroying our marriage he would have “a beer” and then I’d get mad and head to the bar. Weekends would be me drinking for 16 hours and I’d be the bad person.

Eventually, I realized that I had to be sober and set an example. I realized this when I saw that all he was doing was drinking all day until he passes out drunk every day. No job, just drunk only watching Netflix.

Today has been one month and six days without alcohol for me. Since I’ve quit, I’ve seen him puke on the floor and open up another beer. I’ve seen him pee himself and call me a POS because I tell him that he is killing himself.

Since I’ve quit, I’ve lost weight, I feel healthy, happier, and the money I’ve been saving is insane.

This is our last week living together as I decided to get me a new apartment and to end this lease we have together. He is having to move in with his parents, who seem to be the enablers I use to be.

My anxiety is high and getting worse the closer my move date gets.

I have accepted my responsibility in all of this, but I am pushing forward and looking towards the future and not the past. My heart is broken, but I am doing the right thing. All I can do is to continue to work on myself and hope that he will be able to wake up and stop the drinking.

Soon, I’ll be in an alcohol free apartment and a no vomit smell with be around. I am so thankful for this app and to the people on it.

Anyways…this is my story, but it isn’t the end. Only the beginning…

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Thank you for your honest share. Well done on that month +. May your new beginning bring you happiness and health.

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I’m on day one and can’t wait until I can say month one. We’ll done you! I’m looking forward to hearing about your new apartment in a months time.

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Wishing you the best in your recovery, you’re doing the right thing for your sobriety. He will only quit if he wants to for himself, can’t worry about him because our individual battle with alcoholism is immense. Mad props to you for staying sober while living with someone who drinks, i would’ve never made it. It’s only gonna get better from here for you!

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Congratulations on making a brave choice for your sobriety. You won’t have to look back on years wasted staying with someone who is unhealthy and not on the same path as you.

I hope your new place is a sanctuary of recovery and healing. A calm place where you can grow and thrive.

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It sounds like you are making some positive life changes. Happy for you. :heart:

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I’m so pleased your putting your self and recovery first it will probably feel strange at first but I’d suggest trying out aa meetings and making new soba friends who understand how u feel x good luck x

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a month from now when your living in your new place you are going to realize that all this time you were doing it without him. you said he didnt work and all he did was drink. therefore he was spending your income. yes it’s scary doing it by youself. I was in a similar situation with my ex I enabled her she was lazy with threw jobs like underware. i was always hoping for the best that things would be different this time. instead the longer i stayed with her the more miserable i became and i just wanted to get away. so like u i took every opportunity to go out. now i am working on me. exercising going out with friends trying to find myself again

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Well said and shared Marie!!

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You’re absolutely right! Thank you!

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Wow man, that’s powerful stuff. The strength it took to make that decision is indescribable. I haven’t seen many people as serious and committed as you are. You have made the right choice, even though part of it is the hardest choice.

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Thank you for sharing your story and congrats on putting your sobriety first. Also, give yourself a pat on the back for staying sober thru these difficult times.

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Thank you for sharing. It’s heartbreaking to let go someone. But maybe this leads to his sobriaty some day too. I hope it will.
I wish you a great start of a better life!
Like you said: only the beginning…

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So proud of you, and thanks for telling your story. You are doing the work and that is incredible! Great things are coming your way.

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Well done, inspirational.

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btw you look stunning sweetheart. now it’s time to work on selfcare. take care of yourself you come first. start picking up hobbies go out with sober friends

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I wish I had your strength right now. Don’t know if I should stay and help my Mrs or walk away.

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Wishing you the best of luck with your future! It sounds like you have shown bravery and resilience despite what your heart might say! Take courage in yourself each day and keep moving forward. Your doing the best thing! One day your partner will find their path but you can only lead by example and not live their life for them xx

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Thank you! I’ve been hanging out with a really close sober friend. It has been a lot of fun. For the first time in four years, I’m putting myself first and it feels great!

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It is an extremely hard decision to make. I’m giving him a chance to take thus tough love and to move forward in the right direction. A wake up call. I’m not always strong, but I keep moving forward. Saturday…I’ll be living by myself. As scary as that is, it is a must for me.

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