Four years ago I met a man in a bar, and he was drunk. Sweet, but drunk. The next two weeks I decided to meet him again and we got married 4 months later. He was amazing, and sweet. Funny and full of life. We proceeded to move downtown where all of the bars and restaurants were in walking distance. We had a blast, but that eventually became a problem. His drinking was getting out of control.
He went from taking a shot of tequila at the bar to buying them at the corner store and shooting them while watching a movie on a Monday evening.
I got depressed, high anxiety…I started binge drinking on the weekends. Misery loves company right?
I was stuck and could not crawl out of this hole. Every time we would decide to quit drinking because it was destroying our marriage he would have “a beer” and then I’d get mad and head to the bar. Weekends would be me drinking for 16 hours and I’d be the bad person.
Eventually, I realized that I had to be sober and set an example. I realized this when I saw that all he was doing was drinking all day until he passes out drunk every day. No job, just drunk only watching Netflix.
Today has been one month and six days without alcohol for me. Since I’ve quit, I’ve seen him puke on the floor and open up another beer. I’ve seen him pee himself and call me a POS because I tell him that he is killing himself.
Since I’ve quit, I’ve lost weight, I feel healthy, happier, and the money I’ve been saving is insane.
This is our last week living together as I decided to get me a new apartment and to end this lease we have together. He is having to move in with his parents, who seem to be the enablers I use to be.
My anxiety is high and getting worse the closer my move date gets.
I have accepted my responsibility in all of this, but I am pushing forward and looking towards the future and not the past. My heart is broken, but I am doing the right thing. All I can do is to continue to work on myself and hope that he will be able to wake up and stop the drinking.
Soon, I’ll be in an alcohol free apartment and a no vomit smell with be around. I am so thankful for this app and to the people on it.
Anyways…this is my story, but it isn’t the end. Only the beginning…