Great advice @SuberAlles
Totally agree that she has brought up court proceedings early to maximise pain caused.
Hey Rob, I hope youâre doing ok. I saw this post then realized it was 25 days ago.
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@anon79808082 Tomorrow is a consult with lawyers office and STBX. We are going to discuss options, I am wanting collaborative, uncertain what direction she would like to take BUT, she wants as much possible from the home sale. I turn 52 tomorrow at 6:30AM, my sister thought I should wear a Bday hat and bring muffins to said lawyers office. Thanks for reaching out!!
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I stand by my orginal comments above:
She does this, because she can. She can, because you permit it.
Love doesnât equal suffering. Love is respecting and being respected. Love is cherishing and being cherished.
Love is action, and her actions are not those of love. Her actions are those of power.
But you can love yourself, by ending the relationship, and the emotional torment that involves.
Just the way I see it.
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So sorry youâre going through all that; itâs so hard and draining.
Iâm glad youâre still here! Happy early birthday my friend!
I would skip the hat but muffins are nice!
It only showed HER weakness. NEVER be ashamed to show your true feelings.
Iâm sorryâŚbut this woman does not love you. She is using you to make her feel good. Go out and find someone who truly loves and cares about you. To do that you need to take some time ALONE to learn to truly love and care about yourself. Only then will you attract the woman worthy of you and all you have to offer.
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It would seem that she has amassed all of the power in the relationship, which is sad. Controlling the finances, and your mobility, âprovidingâ the venue for your visits with your kids (assuming they live with their mum), and holding your reputation over youâŚthe only thing missing here is physical abuseâŚ
Perhaps itâs time to sock away some âshoe moneyâ bit by bit, and begin planning your exit. Best case is she sees you withdrawing emotionally from the relationship, and realizes what sheâs doing. But I would fix my eyes on the door, and start preparing to exit.
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IsolatedâŚthatâs where she wants you.
Yes, there will be a short-term price to pay, but do you really think sheâll change? Infidelity. Emotional abuse. Physical and financial control.
You do you. Iâll pray for you.
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Thatâs very hurtful that she dismissed your feelings. Rather than going to her, come here and vent. Let us know how youâre feeling and maybe we all can help you. Sometimes just getting it out helps.
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Things can be better, you donât have to live in fear forever, but as they say ânothing changes if nothing changes.â Yes, change and the unknown is scary. Would you want your children to be in this position one day though? Your relationship is the first and most important example theyâll have of what a relationship should be. What is staying with abusive partner teaching them?
Is it possible to move back with family so you can build a better future for you and your children? Can college be put on hold? Is there public transportation where you are, or a carpool group?
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