Thank you! Actually I ended up using the new position as leverage with my current job… They ended up giving me full time work at home. It really worked out for the best 
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Day 8 here goes. Missed day 7, oops. See this is why I need to be held accountable.
So the situation with my cousin, is well, fucked up. Those just reading, hes an addict in recovery. He started using the CBD cannabis to catch a body buzz. As addicts in recovery, we all know what’s next… Hes going to be searching for the high he really wants. That’s what I’m really afraid of. As his family member, I know I cant get him sober, but I can surely try to help. Usually its theyll get me high before I get them sober. But We live in a complete different state, so I know I cant do much. I can just lead by example. Keep it honest and real with him. But that will be awhile because i feel like hes toxic for me. So ill pray, pray for him and pray to help me forgive him… I’m still super hurt at the shit he said to me. But I cant do a damn thing about it. I know when someone was getting in the way of my high, I said some pretty hurtful shit too. So I know it’s the disease, but that doesnt make it any easier. Anyways…
Work has been so busy and stressful. I cant wait to put my 2 weeks notice in! This job is a major pain in the ass because they dont pay me enough to deal with the bullshit honestly. Now if they’d pay me okay, I’d stay. But thats never going to happen… so I gotta move on. Not only for me, but for my wife too. If were ever going to have a family, I need a better paying job, plain and simple!
So my head has been pretty crazy the last couple of days, if you cant tell. I see my therapist next week and will keep in contact with my sponsor in the mean time… thanks for listening everyone…
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Day 9…
Work sucked today and it has been sucking all damn week. Anyone else not like their job? Well lemme just tell you, were 3 people short this week. So theres only 4 of us here, doing an 8 person job. Sucks! Double the work for each of us. And you know some of us work harder than others. So I’m definately putting in my notice on Friday. I’m not looking forward to giving it to my boss, but like my old coworker said, he can’t treat you any worse than he already does. So true… My boss isnt the nicest, he has more bad days than good days, that’s for sure. So it’s like if your late, just one time, your pissing your pants that your going to get wrote up. Like today, I was a few minutes late coming back from lunch. Now I’m questioning if I’ll get a write up or not. I could understand if it happened all the time, but it doesnt. He let’s the power go to his head…
So my cousin situation it what it is. Hes still an ass. Smoking cbd now, and a year from now hopefully he wont be doing something else. Who knows what it will be. Hopefully nothing that will kill him. I dont like him, but he doesnt deserve to live in misery.
I know my life is pretty damn good without having to smoke CBD. I work a program today and it shows. I gotta remember not everyone does though…
Supposed to be Day 18 of my accountability log. Ive been slacking bad on this! Well here goes…
So i have a sinus and ear infection and you know those always suck! I went to the doctor yesterday and she started me on a z-pak and Flonase. i dont know about you guys, but i hate hurting. Like ever since i stopped doing opiates, i hate pain. Ive become a baby when it comes to pain since stopping them it seems like. Weird i know. But its true lol. But one good thing about stopping the opiates, i dont have bronchitis every few months. Definitely dont miss that! I have asthma and smoked ciggs and all kinds of other stuff, so definitely didnt help any.
The whole not smoking ciggs is going well for me. I havent smoked in over 2 months, almost 3. Go me, go me! I just treat it like everything else ive quit…
And the whole situation with my cousin is not any better, unfortunately. Im still not ready to talk to him after all the hurtful shit he said to me. Guess maybe with time… i am having a wedding reception in September and i dont even know if ill invite him honestly. Its for family and friends. Hes family but hes an ass though too. And that daybi want to enjoy myself…
So my friend on this app messaged me back today. We use to message on here everyday and talk. And then she dropped off the face of the earth. We all know what that usually means, unfortunately. I know because ive done it, over and over. And ive been worried ever since. Ive messaged her probably 20 times, literally, letting her know i was thinking about her. If any of you ever relapse, do NOT be ashamed to come back. I know it can be hard. But i repeat, DO NOT BE ASHAMED! Im just happy your alive and well enough to make it back! So way to go girl! Ive missed you! You made my whole day by sending me a pm. Im glad you made it back!
Work still sucks, but im outta here in a couple of weeks though. Thank the good Lord baby Jesus! I wont have to deal with the bs anymore. Now if theyd pay me good, ok, id deal. But they dont even pay me good. Its all bs! My supervisor gets paid the highest and is super lazy. Like were 2 people short and she had to step up. Its like pulling teeth some days i tell ya. And i get shes a super visor, but what i dont get is just working when you want to is all. Like shell just sit there on the phone all day and let us do everything. And im even on the phone somewhat, but when theres nothing to do. Its not like shes doing other jobs for the boss, then i could understand… But its out of my control and im powerless. Using the Steps in all parts of my life…
I hope you all have a blessed weekend.
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I was an addict for 27 years of my life. I tried many times to get clean but I was never successful because I never did it for ME! Then, one day, God stepped in and long story short, i went to treatment again. I did it for ME! I’m almost 90 days clean today, married to the love of my life, just got a job and life is good. I go to meetings whenever I can and i cant wait to give my testimony some day!
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