Just another beat down guy trying to make it from day to day. My relationship is suffering because I hate myself, hate my job, hate the town I am stuck in, and above all I hate feeling like I can never get anywhere no matter how hard I work.
I walk everywhere through all seasons and all weather, always making it to work on time and hardly ever being incapable of doing my job.
The point is I want to change and I am stuck in a place where the number of healthy individuals are outnumbered by the lost. I have little interest to go to meetings around here for I would rather not talk about God. I wanna talk to people for a solution
Taking action is a solution. Sounds like your spirit/chi/heart is heavy. For me, Ive relieved some of that weight and darkness by A) Removing alcohol and B) creating a support system.
My support system is:
A) Meetings (AA has a ton of benefits beyond God talk. Theres also Smart, Lifering, this app, etc.)
B) group exercise classes (huge benefit)
D) being honest w family
E) activities that dont revolve around drinking
I realize you might not be able to access this stuff. The point is to take action. Change is slow, hard and nonlinear. It is totally possible and this is coming from someone who at one time wanted to get runover by a bus or UPS truck. With action, that weight and all that stuff that sucks will start to lift. It may feel inorganic at first but if you can commit to changing, you will get better. Hope that helps a bit.
PS: two things I took from a meeting last night: Sobriety will give you a fair shot at life
Sobriety is freedom from that war within yourself. Those 2 things really helped me.
Hi there! Man I used to live in a town just like yours. Used to. I don’t know what your whole situation is but have faith you can improve your life if you have a plan. Sounds like you’re a hard worker and have determination and that’s what you need to keep moving on!