Hi everyone, I’m new here. I’m a 20 year old man from Canada. I’ve been using frequently since 11-12 years old, but have only been trying to quit for a couple years since i realized i have a problem. So essentially i’ve gone through puberty, adolescense, and early manhood alongside porn. I am fucked up. So far I have failed spectacularly. I’ve been trying to do nofap, where you try to abstain from porn, masturbation, and orgasm completely for 90 days. The furthest i’ve gone is about 12 days i think. The irony of it all is that, my addiction has actually plumetted in this time. I have developed disgusting kinks in pursuit of higher highs and everytime i give in to them i feel guilty and ashamed. I have tried techniques but i either ignore them or forget about them when i enter a bout of horniness. Is there anyone here who has been through this addiction or is trying to quit? I need people to talk to, outside of my personal life. Sorry for my spelling im on my phone. And any input is appreciated, thanks.
Hi @Iguess, I just want to welcome you to this wonderful community and commend you for wanting to make big changes in your life. You will not regret this decision and you can do this. You’re young and have so much to learn enjoy and discover in your life. All of which will be open to you if you conquer your addiction. This is something we all have in common on here. 
There are a couple of amazing individuals on here who have similar issues to you and who no doubt will reach out to you soon. You’ll be inspired and find community if you’re open to it.
Once again welcome and good luck on your journey! 
Thank you so much for your reply, I really appreciate it. I look forward to getting involved here.
Good to see you here reaching out dealing with your addiction. I went through that age with similar struggles got into porn at too young of an age, didn’t think it was really a problem, until i started mixing in all the drugs and using women and hurting them because of my insatiable appetite for sex. I never could just be steady, was always in search of the next best thing. Even when i started somewhat being monogamous had that wondering eye looking for my next fix. Partying and drugs just became so exhausting, a fake dream world that i was stuck in thought that was what happiness was suppose to be, but was miserable and desperate to get out of the fantasy world, out of the nightmare that my addictions consumed me in. What ive found is that my will power to stop anything has no power at all, when i gave my life over to the care of God i began to get results with changing my demeanor and outlook on life. Im not as selfish as i once was and actually want to help people rather than use them or dis regard their feelings. Might sound cliche’ that God works wonders and can help the sic and heal the blind, but thats exactly what help me from being sic and now i can see, be free again when i was in chains. My way out was through my spiritual growth, and my willingness to be brutally honest with myself about what my true intentions in life are.
Wow, 300 days without watching, let alone 260 days of retention. Thats amazing. Do you mind if i ask how it is after that long? Do you still get strong urges? Has your life gotten much better?
Thanks so much for replying.
Thanks for replying. I’m born Catholic but i feel like i’ve ignored God for a long time. What do you mean by handing over your life to God? I pray sometimes but it hasnt helped a lot, although i definitely could be more consistent.
Its just giving everything i think i can control over to something greater than myself. I thought i could control my drugs, my alcohol consumption, my gambling, sex addiction, but i never could just moderate my use, it was always in excess but something bigger than me can. Its like sometimes we want to give someone the wheel let them drive for us, but a minute later we want to get back in the driver seat. We have to be completely ready to just relinquish our thoughts of thinking ‘we can do it on our own’
Im going to try and think like that. Thank you
I find its not about being more faithful to our religion, but becoming more honest with ourselves. We can pray anytime, we dont have to show up on Sunday and expect a miracle. One day it just occured to me that wow i dont desire a drink, or snort, or shot an i devert my eyes from things that i know i shouldnt look at because i know whats not good for me. I never thought i could be happy being clean/sober and faithful but i feel like someone has to be looking over me and guiding me to do whats right, Lord knows i walked in the darkness long enough.
Have any other young males experience erectile dysfunction as a result of porn? I’m wondering if giving up porn and masturbation will cure this or help…, sick of taking dick pills just to have sex with my girlfriend… Its embarrassing and I’m 21.
Thank you so much.
Those are the kind of benefits i see everyone talking about. I think ive felt them before to a degree, even on short streaks. I like your mindset of wanting to see what happens. I’ve adopted it and I feel more motivated now. Also it’s inspiring that you feel like your mind has cleared up after 6 months. I guess rewiring really does happen.
Thanks for your reply man, i appreciate it.
The “Big Book” says sex should be unselfish. Ask GOD to direct your thinking in that area. Keep at it and you’ll come out amazed at changes.
Oh yeah.
Big time!
Let’s start from the fact that its only logical that if we grow accustomed to extreme pornographic content, the threshold to getting aroused will be hella higher. It’s not fair to expect that your spouse will do what ever you fancy because usually it’s gonna be some type of extreme sexual fetish. Let’s be honest, most porn is so far from real life sexuality that it’s just ridiculous.
So to answer the question, if you will be minded to the changes you undergo while not watching porn for a while you should be able to sense that alot less gets you going.
The next thing I found crucial for progress is trying to capitalize on a horniness with your spouse. It’s important that the other side will be understanding of the situation in order to create a safe space in bed.
Dude, your not alone and you can overcome this.
Much love.
JJ
I’m on the same journey right now…
I see now. So you don’t believe you’ve fully healed, but you use that as a point of motivation. Or rather, it doesn’t matter what happens because you’re not in that place anymore. I want to get to that point. I still feel guilty about what i’ve done. I hope to achieve peace. Thank you man
Im with you my friend
Hey man, I’m also new here, 22 year old man from USA who’s trying to quit porn as well… Been watching since 11-12 too and have been trying to quit for a few years without any success. For the past 8 months I’ve been going to SAA meeting, and it’s helped a lot to be a part of a community that understands what you’re going through. I managed to go 4 months without watching any porn but fucked that one up. Right now I’m on day 15.
I would definitely recommend SAA meetings. It can be a little weird to talk to real people about your problems, but everyone is so open and helpful, and everyone there understands what we’re going through.
I’m 8 years sober from sex, porn and love addiction. Great that you’re working on this at 20 even though it’s never too late. Manage this and you have the rest of your life to live.
I put together some resources awhile ago here. Hope this helps.