This has been a big thing for me as of late. 6 months sober in about another half hour. Ive noticed with this round of sobriety I’ve felt more alone than before. Im sure it has to deal with moving across the world to the Netherlands and leaving everyone I love in the US, but i do have a huge support unit here. Friends that care and everything. Its the internal desire to not be alone that gets me.
I do the same thing everyday. Work and gym. Practice sobriety. And repeat. Ill be out with friends and feel alone. This all sounds super whiney and stuff right? The thing is though I’m also super grateful to FEEL this. Not run and hide from it. I have to face me. The fact i dont have a significant other to distract me makes me focus on me. The “boring” life I have is 100 times better instead of constant chaos. Ive made significant gains in my gym life and I absolutely love that someone introduced me into lifting. I am happy but lonely. Loneliness isnt terrible. I’m rambling now just felt like sharing.
Lots of local sobriety communities you could look into where you are at. It’s fun making sober friends. Congrats on 6 months of freedom from alcohol. You are hitting it out of the park!
I definitely have a lot of sober buddies and am super active in AA its more the internal feelings still but thats stuff I get to deal with since I didnt let myself for years and thank you.
Ah man , honestly through my sober journey I actually spend almost everyday of the week alone. I get out once a week to do church on Sunday , and I’m lucky to see friends or family once in a while. The most social interaction I get is on this app sometimes or through via texting apps with friend . I’m out of work for personal reasons right now…but sometimes I see my family members here and there , I try to at least see them every couple of weeks if possible, some of them I go months or years without seeing. Loneliness is a terrible feeling, do I sure get that feeling all too well … I think it’s good to embrace things you enjoy though when you’re alone. Reading, walking, writing, music, and watching stuff all can really help. Sometimes being alone is a good thing in some ways … you learn more about yourself , you can observe more, and also you have minimum distractions which means you can really focus on your self growth and improvement. I think it doesn’t matter how good anyone is for you , sometimes people have the most growth during independenance time and I think sometimes in our life , we’re meant to be alone and it’s apart of growth and learning experience.
Right now I’m watching the matrix , but I have been alone all day just sitting inside just like pretty much everyday this week. I did my workout, and honestly just texted a couple buddies today, one of them my good childhood friends who I haven’t seen in 3 years.
I think loneliness is a real feeling, but it’s how we choose to perceive it and act upon it.
I’m really looking forward to church tomorrow , I always give everyone hugs there and show them lots of love and support. I also have an apprenticeship program I’m going to be trying to get into on Monday , and then a special program I have to do for a court order … lol
Hopefully you can find ways to over come the loneliness and not mask it up. Life can be just as good when you’re alone in my opinion. Just go with the flow and try not to be hard on yourself when you’re alone. Fill the empty void with whatever you can, and try to not be dependent on people because sometimes that can backlash on you.
I hear ya, boy do i hear ya! I’ve been alone for a long, long time. Thought it might change after i stopped drinking, but nope. I think it’s just the way i am. I have gotten better at dealing with it. I acknowledge it, feel bad, and move on. Much better than stewing about it while guzzling whiskey. I could go on and on about this topic, lol.
I have no magic advice other than it helps me to think about all the good things i have in life.
Oh yea I do appreciate the good parts about being alone and I’m happy to be going through self reflection and growth alone. Helps me figure out what i want in life. Thanks for your advice i appreciate it greatly and loved seeing your view
HaHa yeah the gym for me is infinitely better instead of pounding back a crap ton of booze. I think its a big up and down with those emotions and i just never let myself feel them before. Ya know what they say emotional growth stops when you start drinking and boy do I got some growing to do.
Haha no worries @Jmigo49 , remember society likes to play mind games with people and make us think the worst of being alone, or that we’re not good enough. If youre getting minimum social interaction a week it’s good. I try to look at things from a positive perspective.if you ever wanna see what real loneliness looks like , watch high security prison documentaries, or think of homeless people who spend most their time alone with minimum acknowledgement… Not to sound personal or anything , but sometimes I think we as a society of people who can roam the world , have jobs, school , and work aren’t as lonely as we think we are, and we as people can kinda take our “free time” for granted because society likes to paint this idea we’re “not good enough” if we aren’t constantly validated… Loneliness is literally in our head 90% of the time in my opinion… And it’s totally a normal feeling, just try to be realistic about it. Be kind to yourself, love yourself for who you are. I personally pray when I feel alone sometimes and it helps me.
@Jmigo49 also being alone has actually helped me become a better sober version of myself. I’m telling you once I’m out that door with people who I shouldnt be around, that’s the doors I open to the side of me I’m tryna get away from ! LOL
I share your sentiment. I have not found a way of connecting to people as easily as alcohol and drugs allowed me to. I’m still trying to understand how to be myself as I am and make meaningful connections. You’re not alone
I can relate at lot. When I think of it back when I was still in my drinking, when I was in a miserable relationship that was the time I felt lonely a lot, often although I had so many people around me, I had my buddies to do MTB and hang around. I miss that a lot. Moved to another region where it is difficult to meet people. This and my moving around changed me a lot. I suffer from this also. As you say no way I go back to drinking. What I wanted to say is that now I am alone a lot I feel less lonely than drinking and being around people.
and thank you. 
