Loneliness on sobriety


#1

Hi everyone!!
I’m on my 15 day sober. Feeling more optimistic and calm, but antisocial completely. I don’t want to see anyone. Basically because all social interactions are about drinking. Even job related meetings. All my friends are hard drinkers and smokers, which I am trying to avoid. I’m finding peace and quiet in meditation and yoga which is really helpful, so now I prefer these introspective activities instead of being with people. I’m going to therapy too which is helping me with emotions. Is it normal to feel anxious in social activities or around others??? For how long?? I feel like I can handle this process better by myself, without anybody else around me asking questions.


#2

You just need a different social scene. If I were interacting with people who drink I would probably have a bit of anxiety too. But the generalized anxiety will go away with time. Try building a sober support network


#3

You are getting reacquainted with “sober you”, and depending how long you were drinking or using, it might have been some time since you last met.

Sober You might be a natural introvert. Sober Me is. It’s not that I don’t like people…I love people. It’s more a case of energy flow and energy generation. I love people, but they wear me out. Energy flows from me to them. I need alone time to recharge.

You are at a place right now, where your battery is quite low. You are recharging in a healthy manner. Being around people, especially those who drink and smoke, pulls energy from you. Not only social energy, but more so because you will have to resist the temptation to join the party, drinking or using.

Keep working on “sober you”. Make that person your BFF. Feed that relationship first. Then, when you are strong, begin reconnecting with people, but always on your terms.


#4

Hey, nice work on 15 days. Take this time to rest and find yourself again. I definitely felt like a bit of a hermit at first. Avoiding potentially risky situations. Work, rest, repeat.

Then I gradually got more energy and learnt more tools to protect myself with. It’s still no walk in the park (I’m 2 months in) but it gets better. It has to, right? Otherwise there wouldn’t be all these recovered alcoholics around!

Do what you can to work on your physical and mental health.

The people I’ve met in AA are essential to my recovery and have meant I have more of a social life than I ever did.


#5

Thanks!! It’s true about the scene. Building a new network would be nice. To find a different environment to have fun and socialize.


#6

Congratulations on the two months!!
I’m trying to do that. To rest and be compassionate to myself. At the beginning I was to hard to myself, feeling guilty and resentful. Now I’m loving myself much more, giving me the time to heal. I’ve never been to a AA meeting, I live in a small town and I don’t want people talking about me going to AA. Terrible way of thinking I know :frowning:


#7

People in AA generally don’t talk about other people in AA bc everyone is there for the same reason. That’s why it’s anonymous.


#8

Resentment and guilt is normal. In fact, lots of emotions!

Nobody needs to know you’re going to AA. What happens in those rooms is confidential. Most people want to keep that they go to AA quiet for lots of reasons. And it’s fine to feel that way. Everyone is in the same boat.

It’s not the only way, but it works for me :slight_smile:


#9

Take the time you need to feel comfortable and confident in what you want to achieve. Keep going to therapy. Journal, and meetings! Meetings are awkward at first but let me tell u they really do help. Keep going back and things will improve when ur confidence is back and you tell others I rather not drink anymore I feel healthier not having a hangover or how ever u feel comfortable telling people eventually. For now it’s ok to take time to yourself , I suggest meetings you never know u could meet a really cool friend and not feel so alone. Best wishes