Hi all. I’m 21 days sober. I’m kind of a mess now there’s nothing to come between me and my ignored depression and anxiety. That’s not mentioning my precarious employment and super dodgy childhood. I’m dealing with a lot of stressors at the moment; my sister has been diagnosed with cancer, I was sold a lemon car and I don’t get paid over the Christmas break. Today I had a bit of a break down and cried a lot. I walked to my cupboard, took out the beer I was saving for guests and poured it down the sink. It smelled really good. I even considered licking my hand afterwards because there might still be some on there. That’s an insane thing to think but tomorrow I’ll try to convince myself I don’t have a problem. Dry drunk is better than drunk drunk, right? And yes I promise I will go to a meeting. Nice to meet you.
Thank you for your warm welcome! My sister should be okay. She’s having surgery to have it taken out in mid next week. Australia’s lemon laws are pretty good too. Because it happened immediately I should be covered under warranty even if the warranty lapses. If there’s a fight I would probably win but a fight’s the last thing I need right now. You’re right though. Drinking doesn’t solve anything.
Awesome post! I shutter to think about some of the lengths I went to drink. Glad you poured it down the drain. That takes power pat tourself on the back for that! It gets easier.
I lost my brother to cancer and drank over it. I dont recommend it. When i finally sobered up I still had to grieve over him. There is no hiding rhat one!
Thanks. It was actually really hard when it was in my hand not to drink it but I didn’t. Sorry about you’re brother. I think the biggest problem is when you’re drinking you don’t need any other coping mechanisms. Then you get sober and it’s all still there. Hopefully it all gets stronger with practice.
Keep at it and tell us how the meeting goes
You can get through this. I lost my cousin when we were both 16 he was murdered by a guy high on alcohol and ecstasy the same age as us. He never served a day in prison as the ecstasy gave him a “sence of invincibility” apparently and he was a juvenile. He told lies to say my cousin was high aswell, pleaded guilty to a lesser charge of involuntary manslaughter at a quick trial and got a suspended sentence. The toxicology reports afterwards showed he was lying, my cousin was not on drugs, but his name and memory was tarnished as this truth came out afterwards.
He walks around freely in our local community without a care in the world now, now he runs a paintball war games centre and is on the website holding guns etc. It’s hard to accept at times still as it triggers the thought of that night.
I drank to numb it and continued for another 18 years before really dealing with it, alcohol only served to form more resentments in my life and my mind became very unhealthy. I honestly even thought about an eye for an eye often. I am glad I never followed that thought process.
I’m at peace now, forgiveness is perhaps a step too far in my mind but I have accepted the things I cannot change in my life.
Glad you have posted, keep on sharing what’s on your mind, it’s a great form of release and does help get it out of your head.
Thanks. Will do.
I’m so sorry about your cousin. I can’t even imagine what that feels like. Well done making the decision for you. It’s like they say ‘you should never drink at people.’ I do feel better after posting. So much support.