Lonleyness,for me this is a massive factor in my using…to fill a hole a void that only another human can,but because I’m an addict the only relationship I had was with my drugs …and as I have found when I did get into a relationship whilst using I put everything in to it because I soo wanted to be loved and cared by someone but that wasn’t going to work as I was liying and using and really living a double life ALL MADNESS I KNOW.Today I’m on day 8 and I feel so lonely and I have to sit with this feeling and not use .any advice or comments would really help me today.love Emma.
I sure hope you can stay the course Emma.
This is not a practice run; your kids deserve a shot at life and that starts with you.
Best of luck…
Hi Emma. I’m so sorry you feel this way but stay strong and perhaps call a friend or be around family if you feel lonely? Finding a loving relationship starts with being free from addiction. And it is so worth the wait. Don’t give up.
That’s very true,I’m putting my all into staying clean,sitting with myself is one of the iggext things I will ever have to do I’ve never really done it I’ve always ran away and used even on normal emotions that I’ve blew out of context for example I get hurredois period symptoms so at my lowest I’d use when feeling all of those normal feelings writing it down it sounds so silly but a 20 year habit leaves you with very worped perception on how things really are.xxthankyou for your reply.today I’m thankful I have my 2 beautiful children with me.xx
I’m off to see a friend in half and hour so hopefully I can chat it out some with them .I will not buckle my last binge was painful and it nearly sent me into a full on mental breakdown .have a beautiful day love Emma.
I agree with @Mln you should call somebody when you need to talk or something. Lonelyness is also one of my biggest triggers, but it also sucks me into a very dark place and in a depression while I’m all high and alone by myself and that’s more worse than being alone while you’re sober… just reach out and talk and get better for yourself and your 2 kiddos! Hope you have a great day
Emma I’m right here with you, probably the last fifty times I used heroin was from loneliness and boredom. Are you going to NA? I have formed many great friendships at my meetings and whilst I still feel that I havn’t been in recovery for kind enough to embark on a relationship I now have more confidence in myself for when in ready to find someone. We don’t even understand ourselves at this stage so there’s no way that we could get our heads around being with another person.
Congrats on your 8 days btw,I know how hard this is.
Ahhh pants I REALLY needed to hear that tbh lonleyness has kept me using for so long we get lost in our feelings because personally I’ve never be taught how to deal with uncomfortable feelings I’ve just used and buried it on repeat .I’m starting smart recovery next week and I know I need to get my foot thru the N.A DOOR.thankyou for your reply love Emma.xxx
Your welcome and I’m always available for a quick chat on here if you are in need. I started using weed at thirteen so I’m no good at living life on life’s terms or emotions that I’m used to blocking out either though I am getting better.
Smart gets great feedback, I’ve done an online smart thing but can’t get to the in person meetings. Smart is a really good resource though, combined with NA and the friendships that you will make there amounts to a bloody good programme of recovery. Just don’t let anyone 13th step you in NA, it’s not all that common a thing but it does happen occasionally and rarely turns out well 13th stepping btw is someone trying to get involved with you through the meetings (Just incase you didn’t know what I was talking about). We’re all hurt and vulnerable people and these things tend to lead to relapse.
Sorry I’m not trying to put you off, of recommend meetings to anyone. You will be amazed at how people are drawn to us with we start getting better, I’ve gone from a junkie (a word I hate) to somebody that will do anything for anybody and who people actually want to spend time with. It’s a strange thing after being looked down on am as being on the lowest ring of the social ladder for so long. You have great things to come Hun.
Oh bless you yeah my story is similar 12/13 weed 13/16 ecstasy LSD ketamine etc etc etc 17 38 heroin and methadone etc etc etc .thank you for letting me know about the 13th step as this last binge when I hated myself more than ever I started to become permiscious and having sex as I felt that my body was just a shell anyhow n I just wanted to be wanted sad I know bt that’s how I really felt .I’m struggling today with feeling empty useally at this point I’d use to fill that void bt I’m not going back not this time I’m done. I have my daughter’s 16th b day tomorrow so I’m heading for that.stay in contact pants love emma.xxxhow much clean time have you got under you sweet.xxx
Hay Emma so pleased u r getting yourself out hopfuly that will take some of the loneliness away . I agree us addicts r great at isolating ourselves it’s very common r people who use what we used to use . Hope your day gets better and u r always welcome to message me . X
It’s not sad at all Emma, the way we tend to feel about ourselves even without the way we are looked down upon by society and any of us would do anything for that little bit of a connection and less worthless feeling. You are not worthless though, none of us are, we are in fact pretty fxcking great
I’m sorry that your feeling down, in the early days especially we have to learn to just live with our emotions, unfortunately we are likely to feel out of sorts for a bit.
I’m glad that your not going to use today even though it’s what you would usually do, just think of how great you will feel tomorrow, clean and able to give your daughter a day with her real mum back.
I have a little over six months though I would have to reinstall this app to find out the exact number of days as keeping too close am eye on them has tripped me up in the past.
I’m not going anywhere, neither is Natalie. It’s nice to have people who know exactly what we are going through to be able to lean on. Please if you ever get a strong computing to use them get in though with either of us, as the great @Wunderbar , chat days – never crave alone. That saying has saved me numerous times, I never used to reach out but when I started to is when things started to change for me.
Thank you you so so much what’s @wunderbar can you send me a thread .yeah I know there’s Gona be a hole lot of everything but it feels right I feel ready 20 years I’ve given to my addiction no more my body my mental health and my family can’t take no more.i want to be happy and I want to be a part of society I am already BT it all fake smiles and roses if u know what I mean .thank you for your lovely reply love Emma.xx
Wunderbar is a fellow forum member, here days to . never crave alone.
E.g. of your craving then reach our to one of us. It makes it easier and gives you a few minutes to think things over and to play the take through.
Use the search function to search posting the tape through. I’ll tag you in some good threads when I get chance later. X
Hey Emma, welcome to the forum. NEVER CRAVE ALONE is a phrase I had drilled into my head while I was in rehab. I abused opiate pain pills for over 20 years and nobody except the doctors and dealers I got them from knew about it. Even my wife if 17 years was clueless. When you try to recover alone, you’re exactly that ALONE. No one to talk to, no one to give advice, no one to help assure you that it does get better and we do recover. By getting involved in recovery programs, AA/NA, SMART Recovery, 12 Steps, we learn we don’t have to do this alone. In the rooms of AA/NA, we find fellowship with other suffering addicts just like us that want nothing more than to stay sober and help others who need help along the way.
Getting involved in the forum helps in the same way. It gives you a safe place to ask questions and get good information on addiction and recovery. It’s a place where you can ask for help and someone will be here to help you. It starts by NEVER CRAVING ALONE As soon as you get one of those cravings, let someone know and let us help you see things through.
Thanks so much and goodnight a new day tomorrow.xxx