A little about me:
I’m a 27 year old musician and all around creative type! I’m on day one of sobriety. After several failed attempts at getting sober I’ve decided that finding a sponsor/emotional support person might be a good route for me.
I blacked out three nights ago and got verbally aggressive with one of my very good friends. I’m afraid I’ve ruined yet another relationship. My partner said that when I got home from being with that friend I was full of rage and that I was “scary”. I don’t want to scare the people in my life anymore.
I just want to know myself without drugs/alc and feel proud of myself. I don’t want to wake up feeling guilty.
It’s definitely hard being a musician and playing gigs in bar environments while trying to remain sober. I hope to forge a sponsorship with someone through this app who I can call or msg when I’m having a difficult time with that. Also the holidays are coming up. Everyone in my life drinks so a sober friend would be really nice to connect with.
Despite the anxiety and guilt I’m feeling, I’m excited for the future. I want better for myself and for my relationships.
Please reach out if you feel you can offer any advice or mentor ship.
The best place to find such support is AA meetings, or other peer support groups. People are pretty free with numbers and are open to be messaged. Of course, you can reach out on here anytime, and you may find you strike up a rapport with a particular member that you can pm.
The music scene is certainly challenging sober. Maybe some sober musicians on here can chime in.
Thanks for responding. I’ll look into some support groups in my area. I’ve also seen a thread on here with a zoom link for people to connect on certain days of the week—I might try that! Thanks for the encouragement.
Welcome to the gang! As @Misokatsu mentioned, AA is where you can find sponsor. If you aren’t ready for that or need supplemental support, you will get a lot of support here.
It’s definitely an exciting journey. On my journey, I realized, I can finally be who I wanted to be. I was no longer allowing alcohol to define me.
It gets easier over time. Some 14 years ago, I gigged in the local bars and fell trap to the rockstar lifestyle. I ended up quitting music to pursue a full time career in alcolism.
This past year, I picked it back up and played a couple of festivals and some private gigs. It’s different performing sober, but totally doable. My biggest regret is waiting this long, who knows what might have been. At least the future is wide open.
So cool that you’re back at it. I always wonder if I’m actually capable of performing without a few drinks in me… I’ve gotten so used to that in order to ease the anxiety of being up there in front of everyone. I guess we’ll be finding out shortly. I can only imagine that it’ll be terrifying and yet (hopefully) rewarding!!
Thank you! I appreciate your support. That post offers so many perspectives that I hadn’t considered—definitely will dig deeper into it & check out all of the links as well.
