Today I took the first step and got help , this will be my 4th time relapsing but my first time getting help and not doing it alone! I’ve put my family and husband through a lot and now he feels he can’t stick by me anymore and I don’t blame him, but this time is different I’m actually seeking help from the right organisations , how tell I show him that I mean it this time and stop him from leaving because I know I can’t do this with out him and it will effect my mental health and make things worse if he goes
How can you show him?
The proof is in the pudding so to speak. Time needs to pass where you remain sober. Focus on each day individually, give it your 100% full attention and no excuses or listening to the alcoholic voice.
If you’ve relapsed so many times it’s no wonder he is not on board this time, proof is through actions
Thats good your seeking help can u tell me who they are .wish you well
Tipping point
You have to focus on you, your sobriety, recovery, and either he’ll be there or he won’t. He may need to take a step back for a while, doesn’t mean you’re loosing him just means heneeds to heal himself. Those we drag through our addiction go through a lot themselves, and hit their breaking point too. Might not be what you want to hear, but he needs someone to get him through this too. Hopefully he can get into an ALANON program, get some support. While you get into your own program and get your own support too.
Welcome,
How to stop someone from leaving? No. That’s not how relationships work. If one person wants out, that’s it. You don’t get to decide for others.
And the fact that you think that you cannot do this without him, that you think his leaving will affect your mental health and make things worse points to a bigger problem than your relapsing.
Our spouses are not responsible for our own mental health and well-being. I take ownership of my own happiness and contentment. I do not make my spouse responsible for my own well-being and vise versa.
This is a huge factor in recovery. We stop placing the responsibility on others and choose to accept responsibility for our own lives and decisions. Thousands here on this community have done that. You can do it too.
Welcome to TS
You are not alone.
You have to get sober for yourself. What others do is not in your control, I can echo what’s been said already.
I refer to a post with a similar issue, you might check it out. Can sobriety help win back your partner - #2 by erntedank
Never heard of that one here in the uk thats a tv show