I haven’t posted for awhile. It’s been a roller coaster first few months of 2020. First I had to bury my only sister who passed on 12/28. Was the hardest day of my life in a long time cause she was my best friend, my go to person when I needed to talk to someone. It hurts so bad. Continued my drinking because I was so lost and hurt. And still hurt. I took a jump though and went and saw a therapist. I have been put on naloxone and gabapetin for the cravings. I’m on day 3 now. We will continue our sessions and see how things are going. Not going to take away the pain of losing my sister but will help with my pain of using alcohol to mask my hurt. I got this
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Hey, hope your okay today,I put a post in Acceptance and Change if you can see that one?..or I just copied for you below…it may resonate to your life situation 
Was just reading a chapter this evening and it seemed to me about acceptance,here’s a snippet.
"FINDING THE LIFE UNDERNEATH YOUR LIFE SITUATION…’ Certain things in the past didn’t go the way you wanted them to go. You are still resisting what happened in the past,and now you are resisting what IS. Hope is what keeps you going,but hope keeps you focused on the future,and this continued focus perpetuates your denial of the NOW and therefore your unhappiness.’ " (or un-acceptance)
“Forget about your life situation for a while and pay attention to your life.”
“Your life is now.
Your life situation is mind stuff.
Your life is real.”
From The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle.
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im so sorry for your loss
morning can take time…
take time to medatate. dont exost yourself but also talk and reach out when you need to so you dont isolate completely
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I lost both parents. My mom 17 months ago and my dad 9 months ago. I was only drinking once a month up until all of that, and then i started drinking more. Especially when my dad died. We lived together, and he was my go to person. I loved spending time with him…
I binged quite a bit when he passed but, (and i dont speak for everyone) i have seen a huge difference in the way i process my grief since i quit drinking. Actually feeling has helped me tremendously.
Grief is still something i work on daily, it takes so much energy.
Good job getting help! It takes a lot of courage to take that step. I told myself so many times i was going to go to a grief share, but never did. Nothing takes that pain away, i know.
Keep breathing.
Im sending love.
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Get clean, start grieving. What will remain is love not pain 
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I am sorry about your sister. Grief is such a painful process. Being sober will help you feel and process your pain and help you heal. A gift to yourself. 
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So sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine your pain.
I’m glad you came back and told us your story.
We are here when you want to talk.
Congratulations on 3 days
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I lost my brother and we were like twins. Do I need to say more? I grieve everyday among others I lost recently, my best friends. No. No, it will not go away. We have to learn to live with it.
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