Hi all. I’ve never really considered myself to have a drinking problem. I’ve only ever drank a bottle of wine on a Friday and Saturday night (I don’t drink at all during the week). At the end of last year, I had two very unexpected deaths within 3 weeks of each other that knocked me for six.
When my husband goes away for the weekend occasionally, I find myself polishing off 4 bottles of wine over 2 and a half days. It’s almost that I can’t just have one glass - if the wine’s open, I will drink the whole lot.
I do feel very lost at the moment and my hubby is extremely supportive but I do feel the cravings creeping in.
I joined today because I don’t want this to take over my life and if it means that I abstain completely, then so be it.
Hi @Rosita and welcome you’ve come to the right place, people here are wonderful and supportive. Abstinence is the best way forward
I can relate to your story, the day we buried my mum my grandma died, not unexpected deaths but horribly painful all the same I used it as an excuse to progressively drink more and more, telling myself “people will understand you’ve been through a lot” But I knew really it was a huge problem for me. Did you try any grief type counselling to help come to terms with your losses?
Congratulations on recognizing that you might have a problem. That is the first important piece.
Stick around, read the threads here, get engaged on the forum. There is tons of support and advice around. I felt really lost too, some days I still do…but this place helps.
Can also suggest trying AA or another formal treatment program. That has not been my approach, personally, but it has helped countless people and certainly has proven merits.
I stopped for exactly the same reasons. My family is far more important than booze and the cravings/ desire for drink do reduce. You can do this- you have the self awareness and the back up of hubby. Keep it up- you can beat it!!
Thanks all for your kind words I can do this but it’s taken me a little while to realise that I need a bit of help. I do go to a CB therapist for post-traumatic stress as I witnessed one of the deaths but I have never talked about the wine consumption.
It’s good to have that extra support and to know that there are a lot of people feeling the way I do. Good luck everyone!
CBT is great, glad your getting some support. Talking to your therapist about your wine consumption might be scary but would probably be hugely beneficial to your recovery.
Your story sounds a LOT like mine. I was a weekend warrior for sure. When my husband was ever out of town I indulged, even though he never complained of me drinking I felt ashamed when he was around so I went nuts when he wasn’t.
Slowly the one or two glasses would creep in on a Thursday night. Then three or four glasses. Then it would creep in on Wednesday’s. Then maybe Monday was a shitty day so eff it, I deserved it. Then I was going for months drinking five or more days a week. The shame crept in. I was hungover at work. I would cut it back again. Go back to weekends. Maybe I would skip out a Saturday night and stay sober. I would be like that for months. But something always happened. It always crept back in, slowly without me realizing. Earlier in the week, earlier in the evening, more glasses of wine, later into the night. Vicious little cycle over years and years.
Finally I was just tired of being tired. I was tired of thinking about it so much. Worrying about it all the time. For me abstaining was the best choice I could make. And I love the choice I made!!!
Welcome, again! And I hope you stop feeling lost soon!!
Welcome! I admire your insight and desire to get ahead of this. I possessed neither of those and I paid a heavy price. Looking forward to seeing your triumphs unfold!
Welcome Rosita, you made a great first step into a new life. Here’s a lot of knowledge and help, the ppl on here are very supportive. Keep on going, step by step
How long have you been sober for now? I feel ashamed whenever I drink and I’ve got myself in some stupid situations too. Feel positive today - it will be when Friday evening hits and I won’t have a wine glass in my hand…
Sounds perfect, great plan, and maybe for when you get in from your run and nice cold can/glass of your favourite soft drink waiting in the fridge for you? Fizzy sweet drinks really help with my cravings
So I just found out today that a man is in court being charged for the death of my friend in a car accident. We have been waiting to hear since the end of last year. I know I don’t need it but a glass of wine tonight would have helped to drown my sorrows. I won’t have one but just thought I could write exactly how I am feeling…
You can do this without wine. It is difficult in the beginning. Drinking and feeling guilty probably won’t make the situation better. Glad your reaching out. I’m very sorry for your loss. Being sober and experiencing the pain is hard but necessary for me to be able to move on. We are always here if you need us.
I can do this but it’s taken me a little while to realise that I need a bit of help. I do go to a CB therapist for post-traumatic stress as I witnessed one of the deaths but I have never talked about the wine consumption.
