So I had my first child last November 24th, I’d been using crack and fentanyl daily, very heavily for about 4 years, and really had 0 intention of stopping. I’d accepting that I was destined to die from an overdose. And had accepted that child services would take my son… then I had him, and everything changed… since last December 18th when I walked out the hospital with my baby, headed to treatment… I’ve had 110 days twice, and relapsed 3 times, detoxed 8 times. Including once in August with 0 medical intervention… Which I DO NOT SUGGEST, I was in sleep deprivation induced psychosis… had no touch on reality for 9 days straight… then I felt normal ish for 3 days, got paid, and immediately went n bought dope, lots of dope… one week later I was in the same detox center I’ve been in 3 times then 7 days later, went to a very intensive inpatient treatment center for 50 days… It was brutal. But I thought I had gross shit on lock, but now I see how delusional I was… This week since leaving treatment, has been the hardest time of my life… I just keep going to two meetings daily, and constantly am calling and texting my newly acquired sponsor… I’m stressed out, scared, worried… but I’m low in the faith department, so if any of y’all can pray for me, I’d appreciate the extra support
You can do this. Keep texting that sponsor and hitting your meetings. You can read around and check in here any time day and night. Wish you the best!
Keep going to meetings. Find structure to support you outside rehab. Stay away from people places and things that trigger you. You can do this. Lean on your sponsor and work the steps with all your effort. Going thru the process can be life changing. Stick with it. Praying for you @Belle.w
Welcome @Belle.w 
You’re definitely not alone here, please read, post and keep checking in for fellowship ⚘️
You can do this!!
Welcome to the community Isabella! My goodness you have had a year for sure. Great to see you not giving up on yourself and keep trying for that sobriety.
Looks like you are putting in solid work. We can not do this journey alone. So stay connected with the meetings, the sponsor and this community has been a blessing for me. We need to feel like we are not alone and fellow addicts provide this comfort.
This is a wonderful supportive place to get great advice, support and also offers many threads just for distraction when the cravings get to be a bit much.
Great to have you here with us - feel free to reach out and ask any questions as the forum can be a bit tricky at first to figure out 
Welcome! Please consider the advice from us. You do not have to be alone. This community is the connection needed for success in your sober journey. I have rough days and coming here brightens me up every time. I just hit 9 months sober. You can do it too.
You deserve to have a sober life. You deserve to be happy with that sober life. Drugs and alcohol are not good. Drugs and alcohol kill. Even the strongest physical person, drugs and alcohol brought to their knees.
Stay above the influence always.
New life worth living