Making the move - strong advice needed

The last 12 months have been nuts. Girlfriend with her two kids moved in and the drinking went up 5 gears. Anyone that seen my first post on Saturday, will see that Friday night finished with the police coming to my house and my partner leaving to her mum’s.

8 house moves and a different country since we got together 12 months ago, and enough drink to feed an army.

I know it’s time to get out of this relationship, for her, her two kids and me, but I’m scared that I just become a drunken loner. I have a good business, it’s in early days, the 10 day’s per month that I do function, I work hard, clever and productive.

Someone out there must have been in a similar situation - strong advice would be so appreciated.

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Sounds like you need a plan moving forward. If doing what you’ve been doing isn’t bringing you joy, it’s probably time to change things up. As a mother, I worry about the children being exposed to police interventions and, of course, the drinking. Children thrive in stable environments. You may not be able to provide them that, but you can choose to not contribute to the lack of stability in their lives. I feel like you know what you need to do, and while change is often uncomfortable and sometimes frightening, it can be such a beautiful thing. You have the ability to do great things, to be successful, to be a wonderful and reliable partner, or to be an amazing person all by yourself. I hope everything works out for the best!


Thank you and thankfully the kids were away when it happened, but saying that, they have seen some nights where the police could have came but didn’t. Your message brought a shudder to me, as I know that I need to make the move I’m just hoping to get some words of wisdom, before I walk out of this door for the last time. It’s not right anymore for everyone that stays here. Thank you

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It sounds like u already know what to do 4 the best . Sometimes we need to move on to save ourselves. I’m sure u love her deeply but it sounds very toxic especially with police involved. Being on your own can be scary but it’s also a great way to focus on you and your recovery. You say your doing well with your business so use the time to focus on things u enjoy. Your never get your hopes and dreams being with someone who triggers u to drink. X

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Thanks Natalie, she’s a wee diamond, but we’re no good together, for her sake, mines and obviously her kids. It’s time to move on and I’ve already started since I put this post up. Stormy waters ahead, but I’ll be on here grabbing my life jacket, as drink definitely won’t help.


When i first went into recovery i had to split up with my partner we both use to use together and we couldn’t get clean together so he moved out and eventually he got into recovery as well. It was such a hard time cos we love eachother to bits … over the past year things are great we still live apart I do everything I can 4 my recovery… he dabbles every now and again. But it’s not a trigger anymore and I’ve come to realise I need to look after myself I can’t control what he does . Sometimes space can help put things right . X

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Space brings headspace. I think if we spend much more time together it would be disastrous for everyone involved.

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