I have to go to an event for work tomorrow. Most of the movers and shakers in my town will be there with a drink in their hand. I’m expected to mingle and make friends during cocktails before. Wine will be served during dinner and it’ll be super obvious that I’m not partaking.
Normally I’m comfortable with being “out” as an alcoholic, but the situation is easier to manage one on one than one on twenty. I’m on day 164 and this is the first situation I’ve confronted that makes me nervous. I hate socializing with strangers in positions of power. I hate mingling. My wife will be with me but she’s the same way - we’re introverts who’d generally rather be at home playing board games.
Any tips to help me get through the evening sober?
First congratulations on 164 days. Second these “high power people” are just people no better or worse than you. They have problems just like us.
I personally dont care what others think about me not drinking but if I needed to explain myself I would maybe Carry around a drink of seltzer a lime or something similar
I really doubt anyone is going to notice your not drinking. That is a huge fear every alcoholic believes. Most people unless alcoholic dont even think about what others are drinking.
Make sure you have an exit plan if you get overwhelmed
Phone numbers to call or go to the restroom and get on here and ask for support.
I’m so glad you have a support person going.
You can do this.
Let us know how it goes
Seriously other people don’t care what you’re drinking. You’re worrying about it because it’s a big deal to you! It shouldn’t be to anyone else.
When I have been to fancy schmoozy work dos, when I’ve been handed a glass on arrival I just say oh I don’t drink, have you got any water/juice. And someone gets me some water/juice. You don’t need to go into the details with anyone. It is really unlikely anyone will ask.
As above.
Hold your head up and be you.
Say " I don’t drink, thanks!" Be strong is what I’m saying. Don’t be ashamed of your choice!
I bet if you look around, which you will, there will be other no-drinkers!
Well done on your sobriety. My advice is arrive late, leave early, drink seltzer or soda and screw what others are thinking about what you consume. It’s your body mind and spirit you’re taking care of. I have issues with these type of drinking events too. I don’t want to drink, i just want to get away from drunk people. The smell of it on people is revolting. And i smelled like that all the time when i was a drunk, ugh. And i know a few drinkers that, like i was, are miserable, but can’t get out of the hole. The point is, other people at the party may be sick too. Or they aren’t alcoholics… how does that happen lol? I’ve been sober 1 year, the first of my adult life. Peace and love on your journey. lola
Yes what everyone is saying! Hold a drink in your hand that looks like a ‘drink’. That way you can avoid convos and if anyone asks if you need another one just say you will get it on your own! Good luck!
And if you’re not comfortable with, “I don’t drink,” then go with, “I have a negative reaction to alcohol.”
When I go tailgating with all the people who’ve always known me to drink, I let them know my body is having an adverse reaction to alcohol. This is actually true. If I say I have an adverse reaction and they tell me to just have one…they are pretty much an A-Hole.
But true, as said above…People may not ask and at least they won’t assume you’re pregnant just because you’re not drinking!
I have come to the conclusion that people don’t care what is in your glass, they only care what is in theirs. We all have to get better at saying “No” without explaining ourselves.
Be strong is what I’m saying. Don’t be ashamed of your choice!
