Don’t count the days…make the day count!
Love this.
I live in hope Mandi. 
So last night I learned a pretty important lesson. Lately, I’ve been hell bent on healing myself and because of my shot immune system and it being winter, I have been sick again all week. My bff learned reiki with me and INSISTED for the second time this week to come work on me. The first time I shot her down, it’s an ego thing where I don’t want anyone to worry about me and I don’t “need” anyone’s help. Instead of shooting her down again last night, I made space and said ok! While she was working on me, I knew I made the right choice and that was a lesson that others CAN help you and that’s ok. We can all help each other! I’ve been on a mission about not needing anyone but myself and she is helping turn that egotistical and prideful mindset around. I help others all the time, it’s ok and really helpful sometimes to get some help back. It was a good lesson for the day so I’m writing it here as well as my journal and my day planner to help me not forget this lesson later down the road. 
That is likely true, especially in this instance. Others also offer different insights and help in ways we just can’t always get to by ourselves. It was a really important lesson for me!
Of course!!!
This reminds me of reincarnation. But in a single lifetime, too, there are recurring themes for me. And recurring tough answers that I don’t wanna implement.
Something I am thinking about this morning was another important lesson I learned yesterday and I don’t want to forget this so again, I’m writing it here, my journal and my day planner. This is the LONG version lol.
For the last few months I’ve been actively working on raising my personal vibration and continue working on my soul enlightenment work. I have no solid or set “plan”, I just learn from various sources and follow some ideas I get after. It is working out very well where they lead if I surrender and follow them! A few weeks ago I found myself wondering, how could you even know where you are at in your vibration, how do you know when you’re fully aligned? Randomly, a few weeks later I followed another impulse and met this person who actually intoduced me to the scale of the levels of consciousness. Super awesome! Well, I’ve been speaking to this person daily since we met and their life work right now is to help people reach higher levels. I explain some of the breakthroughs I have as I have them and in return for their knowledge being expanded and being able to watch it all go down in real time, they keep checking my “level” and have been watching it rise.
Yesterday I had a setback. There was the early drama here on the forum and that set me back 1 point. No biggie, it was a minor “wow” but my zen wasn’t broken. Then. I get a message from my girlfriend who is FINALLY leaving her narcissistic and just mean and degrading boyfriend of 20 years. He is a very broken man and broke her as well in the process, I could never figure out how he did not see how absolutely fucking AMAZING this woman was without his demands of his ideas of absolute “perfection”. She’s been doing SO amazing with it and finding her own light again these last few months but we share a lot and she felt guilty keeping something to herself so she shared it yesterday. He actually physically hit her a few months ago and now that she started therapy a few weeks ago, she is really processing it instead of shoving it down inside. Within minutes of hearing this, I got a message from my enlightenment person and they said woah, what is going on you just dropped 20 points. So I explained what just happened and of course I was PISSED. I couldn’t turn it around and I felt myself going downhill so I cleaned and tried. Nope, my mind kept wandering back to it and they said nope, you haven’t turned it around at all, you actually are dropping a little more. So I wrote to my girlfriend a few more things that I had been thinking about for positive action, plans, escape and safety plans which she already had in place for herself but I at least got all of the stuff I wanted to out without dwelling on how much I had a few urges to want to go absolutely level this piece of shit guy, I know she didn’t need that added so I just strictly supported her and gave some stuff to her that would help. I then changed my music (I didn’t realize it but my playlist had even turned into angry music) set my intention on letting it go so his actions don’t poision me too and cranked the music while I cleaned knowing that at this moment all was ok and I know she is really headed for beautiful things. She has come a long way since that incident 8 months ago, I’ve been watching her grow and I know if it ever happens again, I know it WILL be the last time. Being angry won’t help solve anything. This is how he actually ended up where he is, he can’t let his abusive childhood go. It’s not the way for me to get where I want to go on this journey. So I cleaned my heart out, danced and sang and within a few hours I had a message that I had myself back to the level where I started that morning. I felt MUCH better inside too.
It was actually REALLY cool to me that I could feel myself go downhill and someone else could also measure that. I found it really interesting how much effort and time it took me to raise back up, even being aware of it and focusing on it. I’ve been GREAT at learning how to not let others and their actions or opinions effect me but I couldn’t do it with that one. I still have work to do.
It’s really amazing to me how much my life has changed since I became sober. I am insanely proud of the changes I have been making and where I’m going compared to where I was a year ago! I still have a ways to go, I’m not done yet but I’m very thankful for everyone on this crazy journey with me, including everyone here! It takes a village, one day at a time!