Mandi's Recovery Journey Vibes

Thank you dad, and thank you Mandi. Glad you will make it through another day and continue to live. It’s a great way to honor his passing.

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Beautiful share!

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Thank you love, I hope you are well! I miss yer beautiful face! :heart_eyes:

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I’m doing good :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: just keep on keeping on. Still walking dogs, which continues to be amazing for my mental and physical health.
I was going to post a picture of my face but the app is being silly at this moment :joy:.
I’m so glad to come here and see you doing life one day at a time. :hugs: I have missed you.

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This makes my heart happy, I miss you and always LOVED your doggo pictures and adventures! Tag me when you can get your photo up as I’d LOVE to see you!! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

And, per divine timing-this morning I went to a “random” meditation meeting off the AA website.

I was still cleaning a section of my basement when it started and had my camera off. My default photo was a seaweed picture and the host immediately commented on it. She said it makes her think of fond memories and she hopes that place brought me as much joy as the place she remembered it from. I told her it was from Maine and she got excited as that was exactly where she had her fond memories held. I knew I was in the right place. I had two options on the website at the same time for a meditation meeting. I asked which one to go to and my HP delivered the answer-that was just perfect confirmation.

As someone new to the meeting, the host gave me her number in the chat. As the meeting went on, the reading was very pertinent to me. It was discussed how we have a daily reprieve and that a design for living is in that book. It works if we work our recovery.

This weekend I had a dream about my nephew handing me a bottle. I said no thanks, but it was there. I also found some old smoking stuff too while cleaning the basement. It kept coming up and got a little too close to home for comfort so I knew I needed a meeting today. I’m not immune to my old BS, it’s still in there but I get to stay in the solution instead today.

The meditation portion of the meeting arrived and i was able to feel the feelsies I hadn’t really let come to the surface today. I wasn’t planning on sharing after, but I did. Being honest about where I’m at is what I need to continue to do to stay on the right side of the fence.

It hit home for several people, but especially the host. After the meeting I stayed on and several of us chatted. We talked about loss, love and sobriety. My share and my photo brought a lot of emotions up about the host’s dad as they vacationed her together when she was young. She’d pop the seaweed with him. We chatted after the meeting and added each other on Facebook. There’s soooo many similarities between us, even half a country away. That’s the truly beautiful thing, we DON’T have to do this alone. Those who have walked similar paths really do get it and we’re in it together. I’m freaking grateful for this today. Because today I wasn’t truly alone when I’ve allowed myself to be in the past on these days. :heart:

And, tonight I actually created my own meditation per divine timing! It literally all fell together almost effortlessly. The microphone getting set up and adjusted within the settings, the successful recording of the script I wrote and updated today, the piecing it together with background tracks and making my adjustments to the collective sounds to blend them together, finding a video for the background and putting it all together into a video…ALL of this came together in under an hour.

None of today has been coincidental. I went to my first meditation meeting and ended up creating my own first meditation. Having the right energies arrive at the right time makes all the difference in the world. Tonight I’m ending my day still on the beam and for that I’m thankful.

In case you are in need of a short meditation, here’s what I created today with the help of my spiritual team. I’m grateful for them and I’m grateful for you all. :heart:

I love you guys, thanks for being here! :heart:

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Can’t wait to listen and meditate when I get home from work today. Thank you Mandi.
Also, turns out my most recent selfie is at Halloween :laughing: we went to a 2 day Rave in Seattle. Every time we go to an event I am reminded of why I quit. I am so glad I will get to remember everything and not feel like :poop: the next day only to start drinking again.

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Thank you, as always your beautiful soul shines! :heart:

Day 1782.

Today I’ve been hit with some pretty unexpected emotions. One of my best friends lost her father to his battle with alcoholism last night. It has been so heartbreaking for his family to watch this disease progress until the end. It brings back a lot of my own memories with my dad and there is so much love and sympathy in my hearts for them. I’m grateful that we aren’t it alone and that there are others who understand and have been there to help lift us up. I’m grateful I can be of some assistance to them today but man it still hurts my heart. This addiction is a killer and it impacts everyone we touch. I’m grateful I found my way to recovery today and was willing to make the necessary changes as many are not able to do so and that has devistating effects. My heart is heavy today but I’m thankful I get to be here and honor these emotions. I get to help someone else carry their load today. And I’m grateful I get to recieve the signs that show we are never truly in this alone. :heart:

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So sorry for your loss, Mandi. It breaks my heart every time we lose someone to this disease. I can imagine it hearts much more when it’s so close to home. Keeping you and their family in my thoughts and prayers. And thankful we found recovery before it was too late.

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I’m SO thankful for this too! So many of us never make it out if this addiction alive to discover the beauty of life but I’m damn thankful for it today. My worst day sober is still 100x better than my best day using. Today I keep learning how to stay afloat sailing through the ebbs and flows of life, one day at a time. :heart:

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Day 1863.

Doing the hard things sober is something that I dare say is now becoming second nature to me.

Yesterday I had to say “see you later” to my last living kitty. We had 10 incredible years together after I rescued him, but per usual I think he actually rescued me. I’m truly blessed that he was in my life. We had a very special bond, I called him my shaman kitty as he truly had a presence about him that was absolutely powerfully healing. His purrs sounded like a mack truck and his cuddles were seriously incredible. He had this way of hugging you back and just staying there, purring on your chest as long as possible. It’s really hard to not have one of those hugs right now as I’ve realized today that he was always my constant go-to hugger when things were hard for the last 10 years. I am missing that greatly today.

This boy has been with me throughout my addictions and in my recovery. He’s seen me through the good & the bad and he’s loved me unconditionally through it all.

Pets to me are truly soulful creatures, just like we are. The fact they are smaller does not make them any less valuable. I spend more time with them than anyone else, they are truly what makes up my home family. This is the first time I can remember that I’ve not had a cat in my home and his presence is very missed. But, I asked for signs after his passing yesterday and they were received. Including this incredible angel cloud I spotted last night. I got home and was sitting on my porch thinking about him, I has this intuitive thought to look up and I saw this. :heart:

This is a gift my sobriety has given me. The ability to see things SO differently. The ability to see my higher power work in action. To have a connection I never dreamed was possible. In my past, I would have completely wasted and oblivious to anything but myself. Instead, I get to honor him properly. I get to honor my emotions and let them pass through instead of running from them. I got to be there when it mattered most. And I know I can do these hard things sober today. The thought of drinking away my sorrows wasn’t even on my list of options this weekend. I sat with these unpleasant feeling emotions and I was gentle on myself. I spoke with my sponsor. I fed myself and my son good food. I bought us flowers. I let myself sleep. I allowed myself cry. I got to show my adult son finally that it’s ok to have emotions and honor them. I’ve treated myself like someone I love. And now I’m heading into my second meeting this weekend.

I’m feeling really blessed, even in the sadness and that’s a really beautiful gift sobriety has given me the ability to have. :heart:

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Oh Mandi, I’m so sorry for the loss of your fur baby. :cry:
Showing your son its ok to feel all the emotions is another beautiful gift of sobriety and your program. You’re an incredible sober mom!

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A decade of two-way unconditional love is a wondrous thing.
Condolences on their passing.
Feel confident that you both knew the time was right. With true love we never want to let go, but know we have to because of this very same love.
:heart:

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I’m so sorry about the loss of you cat Mandi. Losing a good pet like that is so hard. what a gorgeous cat. I bet he had a cool name. Thanks for your beautiful share. My condolences to you.
:pray:t2::pray:t2::pray:t2:

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@Lisa07 Sometimes I question myself on that but I can absolutely say sober me in recovery is a way better mom than I ever was before. It’s truly a gift! :heart:

@AyBee absolutely, that was beautiful and accurate. Thank you!

@Dazercat, Eric, I have to say I laughed out loud at the, “I bet he had a cool name” part. No, he really didn’t! :rofl: My ex and I agreed on the name Si. He was named after a goofy guy on Duck Dynasty…the things my best alcoholic thinking brought me…:roll_eyes: I knew he needed a majestic name, on top of his eyes was the letter M, so I wanted to go with Mufasa but Si it was lol. Thank you for your heartfelt wishes and also for my real first laugh in a few days. :heart:

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I’m so sorry for your loss, Mandi. Pets are truly one of life’s greatest gifts. Si was beautiful and by the looks those pictures, he was a huge fan of being hugged on.
I’m glad you are able to feel your feelings over the loss, and show your son those feelings are ok to have.
I’m sending you big hugs.

P.s. Si was the best part of the show

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So sorry for your loss but happy you rescued Si, and he you, and the time you had together. These pictures say so much. Goodbye Si. Big hugs Mandi :heart::people_hugging:

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Si looks like the best cuddler. You were both so blessed with your time together. Our furry familiars always find us and we are the better for it. :heart: Sending much love and hugs to you dear Mandi today and always. :heart:

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He really was, he LOVED the cuddles, he was HUGE and he would wrap his arms back around you and just purr for hours on you if you’d let him. Thanks love! :heart: And, Si really was…I still never could believe we named our cat after him though lol.

Thank you Eric! :heart: @Dazercat

Absolutely @SassyRocks! It was pure divine timing and intervention, we both needed each other and it was a beautiful 10 years together. Thank you! :heart:

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