Marriages and drinking

It just dawned on me, one of the reasons I’m doing this is to improve my marriage. We fight more when we have a few… but we also have the best chats. But I am so sick of looking forward to a night out or in then its ruined by someone saying something stuoid and the row thst follows. Need to fill the gaps with more wne

6 Likes

I feel you @Clara1982 i too am wanting to do this to make a better marriage. It’s hard and this is all new to me, I’m afraid we we won’t have the same chats and fun together but at the same time I’m excited to see if we can! Not going to hurt to try hun so you got this and just see how you can have fun being sober together.

2 Likes

Im doing this because of me. Im tired of who i was when i drank and hated the next day the oh you sont remember what happened last night gets old quick. I thought i was doing this to improve my marriage and maybe if i lead she will follow. Sadly this isnt the case. If you do this for your marriage or for something other than yourself i feel that the guilt wont be that great but the will to pick yourself up and continue because well he or she drinks and i just tried to do it to save my marriage guess that wont work. If you do it for yourself and you fail it may have a more personal impact and youll want to pick yourself up and keep working on it

5 Likes

Thank you for your reply. You’re right sbout dojng it for yourself. When I told my Husband I was taking a break, his initial reaction was that he will too, but I know this road well, he will start the moderation talk and soon will be havjng drinks again. So I am.doing it for me, no one else…but I do hope it has a huge positive impact on my relationships with hubbie and kids.

3 Likes

Good advice. I feel it will be a bumpy road after so long of our best social interactions beingnokna Friday or Saturday after work

Same. My husband isn’t a chatty person be nature so drink actuality relaxes him :roll_eyes: the problem isnlike us all, the issue with moderation. Thanks

Yeah same…Friday saturday Sunday ate my days really. I did a lot more over the summer, but generally the weekend. I’m only in the initial days but waiting for the weekend’s challenges now. Have you a weekend plan to diatract yourself?

My ex to;d me to leave as my drinking was getting worse so i did went to AA got sober got divorced got married again that was nearly 37 years ago now still sober,learnt a lot but the most important one was i had to stay sober for me not my wife or my job or anyone else ,

7 Likes

I don’t miss the drunk fights, that is for sure. Good on you for choosing to work towards a healthier you. My sobriety has helped our marriage a lot. My husband does still drink, but that hasn’t stopped me from my recovery and choosing sobriety. It has helped me a lot body mind and spirit. And has helped our marriage, tho also changed it as well. :heart::people_hugging::heart:

3 Likes

my marriage did not survive. I had enough of the loveless drunken shitshow without any reasonable sober communication. Go ahead, sober is always better.

join us on the loved ones thread if you like, these issues are also discussed.

2 Likes

Sure I said I want to do this for my marriage but that didn’t mean I’m not doing this for myself. I wouldn’t have started or went and talk to my doctor if I didn’t want to do this for myself. I do want to do this for me and if it benefits my marriage along with it that’s great. But I won’t ever know if it helps my marriage till I try if it doesn’t that means I need to reevaluate my marriage. I want support and encouragement and I deserve it.

3 Likes

Thank you for that. I didn’t mean that I was doing ot for anyone else, juat hope relationships would be impacted positively. Your nessage gives me hope x

2 Likes

Absolutely 100% the same here xx

1 Like