I destroyed my whole life listening to the voices and the cravings my body was calling for. I’m addicted to the buzz of whatever that may be. Gambling whilst under the influence was not one of my best ideas and I lost everything, house, partner, kids, friends and family. Trying to do this on my own and using this app just to vent. I can’t give any advice as I’m just starting to get sober but I wish you well
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I’ve done AA. Just recently got a new sponsor. I didnt mind AA but it’s honestly not for everyone. My sponsor wants me to go to the big book classes and I honestly dont want to. Not everyone’s addiction is the same therefore there isnt only one way to recover. People may think that bc yes it has prob worked for them and that’s great!! No negativity there!! But what works for one may not work for another. Just remind yourself that only you can say no to the first drink or hit of drugs. No one can force you to do it. You have to say no to YOU, no one else. It’s just not worth it. It’s taken me a very long time to realize that but i feel like I’ve made it to that way of thinking! We can do this!!
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I can definitely relate to that “maybe it wasn’t so bad” feeling…I found myself thinking about having a drink a few weeks ago, so, I stepped outside and “played the tape”. I knew it wouldn’t end well, but it never hurts to let yourself think it through. I’m glad I decided not to even take one drink that night. It’s just not worth it anymore.
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Fun and alcohol are often put in the same box. Society is generally wired to think that this is in fact true. Whilst a drunken night out can be great fun and a topic of conversation for years to come it can also go horribly wrong with devastating result. Society overlooks and generally condones drunken behaviour.
So it is very difficult to not want to drink, they only thing stopping you is that you know the final result. You have to learn to have fun sober once achieved you wont feel the need to drink.
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Having those same thoughts and feelings and I’m going on day 40. I had 3 years of sobriety and i can tell you first hand for me going back out it got worse. I know sobriety is where i need to be. We have to remember it’s part of the disease, it gives us those memories of “great nights” but looking back were they really that great? Or just a bunch of drunks talking about nonsense and doing stupid things. Well i know for me those “great night” started in a bar room and ended either not knowing where i was or severely hungover and wanting to die. I hope reading this triggers some of the bad times and awakens the continuous good things you’re doing!
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thanks! keep it up and stay strong.
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It sure is. Its so damn wierd that the brain chooses to remember the “Fun” memories and give you a hard time to remember the bad stuff. Since I was 15 (20 years) it has pretty much always been alcohol involved in all the fun I`ve had. Parties, Music Festivals, Road trips etc. I guess I just have to restart and maybe do some of this stuff sober and give myself some new memories to look back on.
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Oh man! What made you get back on it after 3 years???
My Brain ofen tell me, “sure i can take a Glass of the good vine, its for the taste, the social life and you are strong to stop with one glass”
Looking back of the days Before CA, knowing, One Glass-> locked up in the apartment with 5 grams and on it for days. Congrats on your sober life, Really glad you have get life back.
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A new job. I was faced with many social events, that involved a lot of drinking. I wasn’t doing the right things at that time either like going to meetings, taking care of my physical and mental health. For me social events are tough because it brings me back to my younger years when drinking allowed me to get out of my own skin and numb any uneasy feelings. Today i feel like i have a good support system around me and doing the right things as of today
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I hear you on this, I’ve failed so many times in the past, but finally realized why I kept failing, and it helped me out alot.
I use to justify it and say I’ll quit for a month…but I wouldn’t because I always left the option there.
Recently I’ve come to realize that I have control over my life and drinking, but only if I abstain from it. Once I have one, thats it- I’m at it again until all the booze runs out, then I’m hungover. While Im hungover I feel intense guilt and make a new plan to stop, then a few days go by and I justify it again, " Maybe this time will be diffrent? or, I’ll only have a couple and cut myself off"
I was stuck in this cycle for over a decade.
You have to find what works for you- for me I know that I am in control as long as I never drink again, and I celebrate that fact. Alcohol makes me weak, and I am a strong woman that does not need to be weighed down by some rediculous habit.
Outsmart your justification, and you’ll find your cravings and reasons for drinking are few to none
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Had a hard time staying sober yesterday. We played a show and the backstage was filled with booze, beer. The place was packed and people were in a good mood and had a great party night. I just wanted to thank you all for the different inputs on this forum it made me think an extra time about that first drink. i made it through sober and today I feel great 
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I’m so happy for you! Remember how good you felt the next day when you stayed strong. That may help you the next time you’re challenged.
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I went looking for a topic about not being THAT bad, found a bunch but picked this one to piggyback off of.
“Maybe I wasn’t that bad?”
I think this is one of the most dangerous thoughts and addict, alcoholic or problem drinker can have.
This thought allows us to compare ourselves with people worse off than us.
There’s always people worse off than us, just as there ate people more well off than us. Comparing ourselves, our addiction to others is a great way to become worse off!
This thought allows you to move the goal posts.
We all have the list of “yets”, the list that we swore if we ever started checking off that we’d quit. Never got fired, yet. Spouse never left me, yet. I’m not in bad health, yet. I’m not homeless, yet. I’m not dead… yet.
Thinking that it wasn’t that bad gives us the opportunity to start checking of those yets.
Even after 5 years of sobriety, sometimes this thought creeps in, and I remind myself that it’s rubbish.
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Very good topic.
I needed to read this today.
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I was talking to my sponsor about something similar. It’s not so bad. And he said YET.
You’re
Eligible
Too
I live a good acronym. Especially the ones that scare the shit outta me.
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