What are those? 
Fawn I didn’t know yet, but yup. Step by step I need to get rid of those.
From my Therapist:
This guide will provide information about how to effectively communicate your boundaries to others and respect others’ boundaries in the process.
Why set boundaries?
Boundaries help us communicate what we are or are not willing to do in our interactions with others. Setting and maintaining boundaries helps put the most important parts of our life first, so we have enough internal resources (time, energy, emotions, etc.) to do the things we care about the most.
How do we set boundaries?
In order to set boundaries, we have to be able to effectively communicate them to others. This involves clearly and respectfully stating your boundaries, understanding that it’s a continual process, and respecting that others have boundaries too. How this process looks may vary depending on your culture and identities.
- Practice how to clearly and respectfully state and assert your boundary
Try your best to assert your boundary in a respectful way. Others can’t know what your boundaries are if you do not communicate them. It can be helpful to:
Decide on an appropriate place, time, and method to communicate your boundary
Consider where, when, and how you would like to communicate your boundary (e.g., alone, at the end of the work day, via text/email versus in person)
Example: “I want to speak with my aunt alone. She will be coming over for our family dinner on Sunday, so I’ll pull her aside after dinner and talk to her in person.”
Clearly state what your boundary is and what crossing it looks like
If the person does not know what your boundaries are, they will not know when the boundaries are being crossed.
Use as few words as possible and be as specific as you can (when, who, how, what) to decrease opportunities for confusion.
Example: “My weight is a sensitive and personal topic. I’m not okay with hearing comments about how much food I’m eating or how my clothes look on me.”
Request that the person respect your boundary and clearly state how they can do that
When you assert your boundaries, try your best to do it respectfully. One possible method is the use of “I” statements to focus the conversation on how you felt and how it affected you. Using “I” statements helps steer the conversation away from blame, which often leads to others becoming defensive and not being open to hearing your perspective.
Try your best to be as specific as possible when stating how your boundary can be respected, so they know exactly what behaviors are acceptable.
Example: “I feel really hurt when you make comments about what I eat or how I look. If you could please refrain from making comments about my weight, I would really appreciate it.”
- Practice how to set and maintain these boundaries
When setting and maintaining boundaries, try your best to communicate them clearly and respectfully. To set yourself up for success, it can be helpful to change your environment or prepare ahead of time. This will help lower the chances that someone will cross your boundaries.
To set and maintain boundaries, consider:
Making changes to your environment so others are less likely to cross your boundary
This can include:
Keeping electronic devices out of reach
Scheduling certain activities or hobbies to keep your focus on the things that matter most to you
Closing doors or using signs to indicate you do not want to be disturbed
Blocking out time on shared calendars to show you are unavailable
Removing yourself from the situation where your boundaries are getting crossed
Relevant situations may include:
Asking for a timeout during a heated conversation with your partner
Leaving when a friend is saying hurtful things and refuses to stop
Making the decision to go home after staying 2 hours past your work signoff time
Establishing a new routine that maintains your boundary and informing others about it
To help better maintain your limits, try to inform others about your routine. Examples:
“I will text my friends that I’m saving Saturday nights for quality time with my partner. I will let them know that I won’t be going to happy hour with them.”
“I will email my colleagues that I sign off for the weekend by 5 PM on Fridays. I will schedule an electronics-free walk at that time to help me wind down.”
“I will tell my parents that I need to spend some time with my friends during the week and can no longer visit them every day after work. I will schedule a couple of dinners with my friends each week.”
Thanking someone when they are respecting your boundaries
Reinforcing someone for respecting your boundaries makes it more likely that they will continue to do so. It is also a good opportunity to communicate your appreciation.
You can convey your appreciation by using statements like:
“Thank you for…” or “I appreciate that you…” [restate boundary being respected here].
3. Start early and be consistent
Boundaries are easiest to set at the beginning of a relationship. Setting boundaries early on decreases opportunities for conflict and helps you to be thoughtful about your resources early on.
Examples of new relationships can include:
New friends
New job and/or new coworkers
Moving and having new neighbors
New romantic relationship
Being consistent when setting and maintaining boundaries helps establish clearer limits with others. If your boundaries change too much, it will be hard for you and others to know where your limits are.
- Consider how setting and maintaining boundaries is a continual process
After you have established your boundaries, you may need to change or reassert them as time goes on.
Examples of when boundaries may need to be reestablished are:
When someone enters your life who doesn’t know what your boundaries are
When people forget what your boundaries are and need to be reminded
When your boundaries change and need to be redefined to those around you
Setting and maintaining boundaries may not feel comfortable or natural, especially if you are just starting. It takes a lot of practice, and it can be helpful to start with setting boundaries that feel easier to establish (like asking a close friend to respect a time boundary). This can help you gain confidence with setting boundaries that might feel harder to establish (like asking your boss or elderly relative to respect a time boundary).
- Understand and respect that others have boundaries too
When interacting with others, try your best to remember that they have boundaries too, and that their boundaries may also change depending on the situation. Doing so is crucial if we want to maintain healthy relationships.
If you are unsure of what others’ boundaries are, you can ask. Questions could include:
“Is it okay if I call you later about this? Or would you prefer email or text so you can respond when you are able to?”
“Are we able to meet up this weekend, or do you typically have those days reserved for something else?”
“Would you feel comfortable talking about your ideas regarding this issue, or would you prefer not to?”
If you find yourself getting upset with someone for setting a boundary, consider that everyone has limited internal resources to spend when interacting with others. Here are some statements that may help us remember this:
“Everyone needs boundaries. Other people’s boundaries matter just as much as my own boundaries.”
“It’s important for everyone to practice self-care.”
“It’s okay if others have boundaries that look different than mine. Everyone has different values and preferences.”
“I do not know what they are going through right now. They may have limited resources to share with me right now.”
Communicating your boundaries in a clear and consistent way is a challenging process that takes practice. Respecting others’ boundaries is equally important and ultimately helps preserve everyone’s internal resources, so we can attend to the things that matter most in our lives.
You’re hitting my cords with your latest memes 
This has been me 100% for 50 years. Working on breaking these patterns since i got sober.
Part of this insta post:
https://www.instagram.com/p/CxviNLYRbnU/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
This is great stuff, thanks for sharing it.
