Very interesting nuance in my mind between the semantics of just letting go / distance healing and actually forgiving. This one has me stuck!!
I do not believe I will ever truly forgive my parents for being fuckwits. I’m ok with that. What I need to let go of is societal expectations and inner criticism that I need to, or should, forgive.
I’m faced with the same dilemma. Forgiveness in the sense of letting go, of not letting them take any place in my head, I’m there. And while I see all the points in the meme and agree with them too, and I forgive them for all that, they could have tried a bit harder maybe to be good parents instead of just living there own fucked up lives and failing my sis and me on so many levels?
I agree. If we are all here making the effort to improve ourselves and our lives, holding space for improvement and self reflection, then they could have done so also. It doesn’t cost a penny to think thoughts.
I understand the counter arguement also but it’s no dice for me.
In what I call ‘tender’ moments with my mom (I’m laughing/grimacing at the word tender) she would make good eye contact and tell me I had felt a lot and had it really hard. What do you do with that?
At the time, it always made me want to cry in relief of being seen and acknowledged… but now it just makes me really angry. It’s like; she knew her control, the pain she caused, what she had repeatedly done. She was feeling power in that moment and still weoponising emotion.
Intention is unforgivable.
It’s so sad that some children have to endure this from their own parents.
Emotional weaponizing is a special kind of hell. 
My mantra. 
