Just what I needed to read today! 
Wow.
This is the most important graphic for me to see right now. Reading through it, I am not sure I can confidently say ‘yes’ to any of them. But I also see that I have made so much progress in my three years of al-anon, my work in therapy, and my commitment to fitness/self care. I can imagine instances where I have done these things and I can continue to take the right step for myself even if it disappoints someone else.
That internal observer has become aware that I’m doing these things and I’ve gotten way better at speaking with kindness and encouragement even when I am not perfect.
Here’s to breaking the cycle @Mno !
This was super helpful for me too. I need to work on my independence but I see improvements in all the other categories from where I started.
As a drinker I was fiercely “independent” so I thought. Turns out I was just keeping everyone at arms length. Reading this feels like the path to true integration.
Thanks. 
Another tough one for me in this topic is not trying to prove my truth, even if the other party thinks badly of me. It’s difficult to step back and leave them with their beliefs, but at the end of the day the peace of missing out a fight is many times more valuable than the satisfaction of telling my truth, especially that even if I tell it, that’s rarely fully felt through and accepted by the other person, if they are triggered or emotional about it. I’m practicing that right now and it’s really self-validating.
Wonderful add on. 
I’ll think you’ll find a good audience for the post here, and maybe some other things to inspire you too!
