So I have been sober since October of last year. I did have champagne on NYE but it’s also my birthday and I bought the party 3 case’s so I felt fine with it… Move Forward to about three days ago. I ran into a girl I’ve met before, we got to talking and exchanged information. She invited me out. Even though she didn’t ask for it I did what I usually do at the bars and put on my charade, open tab, buy everyone else drinks. I partook in the action as well (but no where near as bad as I used to; I was without a buzz to Make sense of it). She partakes in other substances as well. My new position drug tests and I’m afraid I’m going to need to cut her off before going any further. Now that I’m saying this I feel like I should just tell her I’m sober and see what she says. Meeting new people is hard being sober😂 where is the sober club at?
Dude I feel you on this… please be careful. You may think you have a handle on this now and can have “some champaign” or “I didn’t get as drunk as I used to” but that could just be your addict part of ur brain slowly coming back out saying “hey remember this? It won’t hurt you. Just one glass, it’s your birthday for God’s sake”. I was in that position before my last relapse. I drank at my friend bachelor party after some months of sobriety because why wouldnt i? I could just stop after that. But then I drank on my birthday cuz I deserved it. Then every weekend. And then I was back at the hospital and I’m back at one month. Just be careful man. If this girl is dragging you back into old habits you got to remember why you got sober to begin with.
If you drank, you’re not sober. You’re playing with fire and opened a dangerous door. You can’t tell her you’re sober if you did partake at the bar with her. Your disease is telling you lies.
This person G (Gabybob) has been trolling/harassing us in the forum and on chat since Thursday afternoon EST. Is there not something you can do as an admin?
Alpine - there was the other character who went ballistic the day before ‘G’ - I wonder if it was the same person? Seems strange ‘one’ suddenly went nuts, stopped, then ‘the other’ started.
Robin’s got rid of him so that’s good news!
His account has been deleted and he has been blocked from joining the forum in the future. He clearly did not follow the rules and he was negatively impacting everyone’s sobriety in a BAD way.
The best way to deal with trolls like that is to simply flag their post. I get a notification.
Yes, tell her the truth, you’ll be surprised at some people’s reactions (good and bad). If it’s good, great.
As for meeting people, are you really done working on yourself? It seems like you need to decide if you’re sober or simply drinking less- this will also help on what kind of girl you’re looking for, with the life you’re trying to live.
Personally, I don’t actively seek potential partners, I just make smarter choices. Often times these decisions bring me closer to girls I’d actually consider dating.
An example: instead of going to the bar to kick it with some friend’s, I chose to hit a yoga class. I ended up meeting some pretty chill girls that are conducive to my goals. Who knows, after better knowing this new friend circle, a relationship may arise. But imagine if I went to the bar, the likelihood of meeting the same kind of girls would have been much lower- shit, lets be real, I most likely would have ended up getting wasted with some girl, regret my decisions, and be back to square one.
Instead I’m on day 13, and I gotta say, I’ve met some amazing people doing the sober thing…what’s more? I actually remember our interactions lol.
Choose wisely my dude.
I’ll be honest that’s the best advice I’ve got. I know I’m not drinking anymore. It’s a choice I made myself. I’ve done it before but this time I’m serious. I’m just really good at the bar scene… What’s got me messed up is I see her as a good thing. She’s more low key than myself. I didn’t meet her at a bar either. It’s just when she mentioned it I jumped at the opportunity to “shine” it’s something I could be good at; my look at me and what A great guy I am moment. It’s because I was sober that I realized how stupid I was sipping on a drink and throwing it out as I bought a new round… It’s not that I can’t stop drinking I’ve just built a group of friends around a bars. My buddy who doesn’t go out a lot was joking about how I was the mayor of the establishment. I have had that comment thrown out about towns I walk through… I miss that feeling more than drinking. But the night after is what got me to write the post. Fully primed to make the move to the bars friends group in tow. I got food instead. Bull shitted the night away back at the house ( referring to the night as staying low as if I was hungover and couldn’t possibly go out again ) in reality I knew she wasn’t going out and in my mind I had no one to impress, nor any reason to go to a bar and impress someone. Basically I realized I like the girl which is new for me. Haven’t had it happen in a few years. I’m just at a cross roads in my life with this (sobriety) and work and I wasn’t really expecting to meet someone right now. I needed this here, you guys don’t seem to be afraid to pull the punches. P.s. I watched the sunrise today, & not because I stayed up all night 
so that’s something new
I get it man, I had the same concept. Interesting case study though, try to be “the mayor” of the bar sober. I’ve learned I’m just as fun sober, only difference is I don’t spend $150 to catch a fade 
As for excelling in bar scenes, if you can’t do it sober, you’re relying on alcohol, that’s an enabling addiction in itself. You should really think deeply about your grasp on alcohol.
I can honestly say, I didn’t have a handle on alcohol, it clearly had a handle on me. Only figured that out through a series of unfortunate events and sobriety. Good luck my dude, lmk how it goes.
BTW I’m only 2 weeks sober today, it’s strange how much clarity I’ve gained. If anything, I’m even better in social situations now. Try it out, as long as you can resist the social nectar
I was reading your post and thought how similiar your thoights were to mine back in november.
When I quit sobriety to me was NO ALCOHOL.not a sip,nothing. So it was painful and I was moody and felt constantly tired and craved alcohol.Id think of excuses as to why I should Id stare at alcohol at the store and fantasize about a good night after drinking. I didnt touch it though. I went to bars,weddings, bachlorette party after a few weeks sober and sometimes I was jealous of the good times, Id wanna leave early, but then I would wake up able to do whatever the hell i wanted the next day.I told myself 100 days AT least.Honestly I was really just counting down the days until I drank again. I got 108 days sober and then decided I DESERVED a drink on my birthday.
1 drink!Thats all I had.I was so proud of myself.Yet, I wanted more deep down. So I shoved the desire way down and convinced myself thats not how I felt. After that every few days Id say yes to alcohol. Until one day I just kept drinking more and more.
I started buying wine from the store and hiding it in my coffee cup I drank 3 bottles in about 2 days then another day I bought 2 ciders and hid them after I finished them.Then I got wasted at my friends on the weekend and hungover the next day (christmas eve) couldnt eat all day. Then as if I didnt learn shit I did the SAME THING the next weekend. Now here I am 7 days sober from the 1st of the year and I realized our addiction will try to convince us we have a handle on it and that 1 is fine!2 is fine! Yet, suddenly there we are doing the same thing all over again.
Id rather be 100 percent sober no alcohol.I hope you find that as well, without finding out the hard way.
I meant to add that, I know how you feel with that being what you are good at, except being good at drinking isnt really a good thing. Infact since Ive spent some time sober Ive noticed how dumb people look when they are drinking.
Take her on a date, outside the bar.That will really impress her if you really like her.