Mezcal and Blackouts

I’m hurting so much. I blacked out at my partners aunts house. After a night of drinking out w friends I sat with his cousin in the kitchen drinking mezcal for hours. Apparently I broke things in the kitchen and the bathroom. I don’t remember the morning at all and came to in the car with his family. I think someone may have put something in my drink as I fainted in the morning and feel entirely out of body. The shame and pain of this experience is so intense. My partner was so patient. His parents think this was a one off thing. If this isn’t a rock bottom I don’t know what is! I’ll get sober for now but eventually I’d like a safe and healthy relationship w alcohol. How do people do this?

It’s possible that the high levels of hard liquor are causing these feelings I’ve just never felt so incredibly ill like this. Thanks for your input!