So, when I was drinking I would usually find my way to the kitchen, looking through the cabinets, fridge and pantry for snacks or something to drink. This usually took place late at night as a means of avoiding my parents who I live with. I would stumble, bump into things, drop stuff and just do shit that an intoxicated person does, leaving a wake of messes or broken glass or spilt something behind me.
I was just walking through my kitchen getting a glass of milk to dip my Nilla wafers and realized that I haven’t stumbled through my kitchen for almost a whole year. The feelings of paranoia of being caught while drunk are no longer looming over me every time I leave my room. I don’t worry when I clumsily make a noise in the kitchen at midnight because I’m sober and not hiding anything anymore.
I guess I’m just really grateful I get to spend this Christmas sober with my family and friends. I know not everyone will get to experience that and I can’t take things this important for granted. I’m going to be present for moments like this, and remember that I’m only here because I’m sober.
I’m also really grateful to have found this community. Since my last experience in out-patient rehabilitation ended in September I’ve been feeling really alone. But after joining TS I feel like I have so much more support than I did just a month ago. The connections with other people feels like a big part of why I feel so confident in my sobriety nowadays. I owe a huge thank you to everyone who’s shown support, big or small!
Happy holidays everyone, I’m glad to be here. Glad you’re here too! 
It feels wonderful to be full in charge for what we are doing, nothing to hide, nothing to be ashamed for while intoxicated.
