Hey all ya’ll sober fellows! It’s been on my mind for some time to make my own personal thread about my recovery journey. I know that there’s a private journaling option on the app, but I decided I’ll try the public forum, because it just might bring awareness and help! :adhesive_bandage:
Now, I cannot promise I’ll write everyday, but I’ll do my best to check in here.
I’ve been working with SLAA which is Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, and does the 12 step program like in AA. I started April 26th, and it’s what they call a H.O.W. program, and for the first 37 days I work with my sponsor everyday. Sounds intense? It seemed that way at first to me as well, but as time has gone by, I can say that it’s been very good! And yea, HOW stands for Honesty, Openness, and Willingness.
The first 7 days were about identification, how to I define myself as a sex and love addict. Then the next 30 days I work steps 1-3 sort of in a bulk. Just today, I started working on step 3. Like I said earlier, it’s similar to AA, obviously it’s adapted to the SLAA context.
Anyhow, that’s the technicalities of it. What about what’s going on the inside? Well, let me tell you: so far it has been intense but good. I’ve had to dig deep into my memory archives and go through my sexual history. I can honestly say that working on some of the questions that I do everyday have been triggering. The memories trigger emotions and all kinds of stuff, but those triggering moments have also passed, and I’ve discussed them with my sponsor. And I have a very good sponsor. She knows how to guide me, but also she doesn’t let me off too easy. She encourages and asked the right questions. I’ve been blessed with that.
But since I’m being honest, I think that I can honestly say, that not a day has passed when I’ve thought, eff this, I’m gonna quit the program. But those moments has passed as well. Somehow, I’ve managed to push through. And then I’ve felt good, because I did it.
So here I am, Milele, a sex and love addict. From PMO, 157 days free.