What I’ve realized is that people who don’t have a drinking problem don’t have to think about controlling their drinking. It comes naturally. I can only think that if you’re thinking that drinking is a problem, then it probably is. I’ve been able to successfully control my drinking with lots of obsession but eventually I’m all in again. Once I cross a line (say 4 beers), I completely forget I was even trying to control and wake up the next day wondering what the hell happened. For me, I feel a lot freer just not taking that first drink.
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Hello @Success, and welcome.
Merv, alcoholic.
I’d have to agree with all comments here so far. You know yourself better than anyone, but how honest you are with yourself is up to you.
My 2 biggest factors in seeking recovery were my drinking interfering withy personal life (work, relationships, etc.) and, eventually, my undeniable physical addiction to alcohol. Literally needing it to function or else face devastating withdrawal symptoms.
Sounds like you may be struggling with the “am I an alcoholic or just a heavy drinker” dilemma which I did for nearly a decade. You’ll know which you are soon enough, and I wish you luck out there. Just know that the program is always there for you if you choose to decide. Much love.
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In regards to minimizing drinking I am not sure there is such a thing. I watched a video recently and it said that when we say we will minimize our drinking and lets say only drink twice a week or only drinking when out to dinner we are putting drinking on a pedestal. So it becomes an event and we start to think about it more and then become more slacked on our special conditions that allow us to drink.
Best advice is to stop completely. Especially if you recognize you are drinking too much. Moderation does not work.
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With very wise words from all of you, I decided to stop drinking for 2 more weeks (with the exception of NYE) and assess the pros and cons.
I’m grateful for the honest and knowledgeable advice you guys have shared, it’s shown me the difference between addict and heavy drinker that I didn’t fully understand before. Happy holidays guys!
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Hey @Success. in my opinion: Moderation is a stepping stone toward abstinence. Alcohol Abuse Disorder is more than just alcohol usage, the root cause is an untreated personality disorder. Most alcoholics get sober but go on to live “dry” lives… That’s not recovery! If you at this point in time are feeling/thinking/experiencing that alcohol is dominating you or consuming you (as opposed to the other way around), it’s time to take inventory of your life: what kind of people are you surrounded by? Have you lost interest in the things that once made you happy? Have you become an avoidant person? Are you isolating? Are your finances in good standing? Your honest answers to these questions might give you something to think about regarding your current alcohol use; i.e. Alcohol abuse is just the tip of the iceberg. Go deep.
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I am ready too. I really never want to be ruled by it, on special occasions I am going to have to drive or have soda water I have to face that I cannot drink again as my relationship with alcohol is an unhealthy negative one. I can never just have that one glass of champagne for a toast cuz then my head goes well you have had one now may as well have another until I pass out. I hate it when in a morning I feel I lost control and can’t remember stuff having to look where I put my jewelry keys n clothes. I have tried moderation but it never worked only drinking at the weekends filtered into drinking during the week once the boundary was broken that was it. I am lonely scared and hurting at the moment turning to here has given me hope. X
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@marsha some sound advice it rings so true that we put alcohol above the occasion itself. I do dwell on when I will allow myself to drink again but the truth is it is going to have to be never. I will try to remove alcohol off the pedestal it have been on for far to long x
Carlos, you’re spot on with needing to work through the root cause of the issue. As it turns out, when I drink, I don’t need very many drinks to feel regret- this is because I blamed alcohol for my recent life choices and break-up (she told me through the use of alcohol I stopped caring about her and it ultimately led to a terrible seperation).
But, as I track back, alcohol is only part of my issue. So quitting for the next couple weeks is going to help me with the clarity I need to accept, analyze, and rebuild. In reality, it was almost easier to blame alcohol than deal with my other issues.
Already from quitting, I have made profound breakthroughs- the longer I stay clear headed, the more positive and stronger I become. It’s fucking amazing, I love it. Thanks for your input man, how long have you been sober?
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Sobriety has been a work in progress for me. I decided in September 2013 that alcohol was consuming me and had been noticing a Jekyll and Hyde aspect to my personality when intoxicated (by either alcohol or marijuana). So I went to AA. I have been in AA since then, but I have relapsed. I’ve worked up long stretches of clean time (14 months has been the longest). Today I am 44 days back. Abstaining from our first love is like a bad divorce, for many of us. But if I take sobriety one day at a time, it gets easier. If I start to project into the future, I feel like I’m at the foot of Mount Everest looking up. And I get easily disconcerted. Some days is “one hour at a time”! But it’s doable. Totally doable.
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All articles that one reads always seem to break readers down into 2 categories social drinkers and problem drinkers. As the negative effect is known to all and all are aware that alcohol is a drug and best avoided aren’t all drinkers then alcoholics as they cannot stop doing something that is bad for their well being.
Logic games ftw!
Funny how it works out that way. There is more to that theory but I like the way you think lol.
I can say I believe I was just a heavy drinker very heavy but could generally do ok during the week with the occasional one here and there until the weekend. I feel like giving yourself the option to turn back and allow alcohol in is inviting the devil in to wreak havoc. Shutting the door completely has been such an amazing and positive thing. I think I started drinking more when I felt bored and to have fun. In reality I wasnt pushing myself to reach my full potential and ignoring the capability to do and accomplish some goals I was possibly afraid to even set for myself in fear that I would fail. Now I think you know even if I do fail at least I gave it my best shot and I can die knowing that. With drinking it really made me put the blinders on concerning ways I could improve myself and move up in all areas of life. I dont think its impossible to be a moderate drinker however I feel like giving up entirely has given me a new motivator which was boredom. Being bored with yourself can make you confront yourself in ways you’ve been suppressing for years amd finally accept the challenge to make other positive changes in your life. However you choose to proceed should definately be your decision but I can say quitting altogether and burning the boats as they say is quite powerful and forces you become the best version of yourself you will ever be.
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Whatever works for you fella
I like the term, foot of a mountain look up…it really does feel like that if I think too far ahead.