Misconceptions of sobriety

So before choosing to become sober I suppose I was always judgemental over someone who would say. Oh no sorry I don’t drink. Maybe im just a judgemental/insecure person (working on that) but I always thought people who didn’t drink had their head up their backside and full of their own self importance. How wrong was I haha
Did anyone else have a view on sobriety before becoming sober?

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i hadnt i was to busy drinking and really never knew anyone who didnt drink lol

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Yes, because brainwashing to think its a good idea, fun, your boring with out it etc etc is mainstream…blame the media! Then its filtered down from the brainwashed people to the next generation and so it goes on…i actually like to not follow the crowd so now ive been enlightened to the brainwashing i now find it good to be different to others by being sober, Allen Cars easy way to stop drinking is great to listen to or read to change your mindset

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My ex sister in law didn’t drink and i used to think she was stuck up until i found out her dad was an alcoholic, i shouldn’t be judging anyone not my place and you never know what goes on behind closed doors

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We are full of misconceptions.
A book I read uses the term delusion quite often.
Someone who told me what the book is all about explained to me that a delusion means a faulty belief.

I have noticed the more days I gather, the more delusions I discover that I get to then re-evaluate.

one of the delusions I indeed have is that I think a lot of things about the world that surrounds me. I think a lot of things about the people in it. I think a lot about what those people think too.

For me to think that I know what other people think, is a huge delusion.
One that I most definitely should not have.

In this book, we use inventory to help rid us of these delusions.

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I feel what you are saying. In college one of my friends dated a woman who didnt drink. I just couldn’t wrap my head around why she didnt. Now…i completely understand.

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I’m curious about this book - could you share the name and author?

The book is called alcoholics anonymous…
book was written mainly by bill wilson and the 100 first who joined the program.

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Did I?

I used to say in a cheeky way “I don’t trust people who don’t drink - they have something to hide”. Can you believe it?? Just horrible!

The only good thing about my absolutely stupid view of people who don’t drink is that now I KNOW some people will have the same stupid (or differently stupid) opinions about me as a non-drinker.

I’m still working out a way for it not to bother me but I would be lying to say it doesn’t. I know it shouldn’t, but depending on the person, it still does. Work in progress.

At the end of the day, this is a choice I made for very good reasons and other people’s opinions don’t change those fundamental reasons in the least.

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Ah! Got it :blush:

I was really uncomfortable around non-drinkers/sober people because it shown the spotlight on my problematic drinking. Didn’t want to be around them at all.

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Me too. I was uncomfortable because I knew I was not ready to look closely at my own abuse of alcohol.

I cloaked it in thinking like this…

“Why would anyone Not want to drink, it’s fun and feels great!”

“Why don’t they just control their drinking? They must be weak”

“ugh, I hope I never am in a position where I have to quit, that would be awful”

Fortunately for me, I grew beyond these thoughts and got educated and dedicated to taking care of myself. And for that I am grateful to those who have shared their stories and learning on this forum.

450 days sober now and humbled to be so happy.

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To me it was well if someone wanted to drink or not drink for whatever personal reason they have what business is that of mine. There is stigma out there that classifies sober people as second class citizens though yes.

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37% of americans don’t drink alcohol.

Do you think this stigma that you mentioned is popular among the 37% of the people who don’t drink?
Or is it mostly a sentiment that is shared strictly among the people who do drink…or could it be that that kind of thinking actually only exists within the heads of people who need to question their own relationship with drinking. Or only in the heads of those who need to justify their drinking.

roughly 2 billion people in the world consume alcohol. That makes the non drinkers a vast majority.

all these stigmas that we like to use for what ever purpose…are they real or are they something that exist within our mind and we use them to justify our own thinking?

in other words…are we sure there is a stigma…or is it a delusion caused by our own faulty thinking?

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I’m with @Ray_M_C_Laren on this I was in a culture that revolved around drinking and the only reason someone didn’t drink was if they were on medication, never stopped me though. Although I didn’t judge people who didn’t drink, I just thought them really unluckily, it seems I got that arse about face and I was the unlucky one.
When I got sober I felt awful telling someone I didn’t drink and the usual questions why. A friend of mine used to say he was allergic to alcohol and left at that but if pushed to answer what effect it had, spots, stomach problems etc his reply was ‘I hit people’, which was 100% truthful.
Today I don’t have a problem saying I don’t drink and if asked why, which is actually quite a rare occurrence, I tailor my reasons why I don’t drink to the company I’m with, but what I say is always the truth.

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Thankfully sobriety is starting to be looked at different. I just saw a commercial for Heineken 0.0 NA beer featuring Paul Rudd (Ant Man). The tides are turning.

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I didn’t have that view of alcohol I knew it was bad for my life, but the other people I spent time with gave me a hard time and ridiculed me for wanting to change. They made fun of the last day I drank saying I just needed to stop being a pansy, they actually used different words but I didn’t want to offend any one lol. So, while I didn’t have that view of sober people I experienced the malice people can have for people who quit drinking. My wife told me something that really struck me, that alcohol is one of the only substances people treat you as weird if you decide to quit because it’s a social drug that’s legal. I’m sure other drugs come with that treatment from the group of people that use them together, but alcohol is such a social and open substance that if you quit, people do treat you different. Most people on here have told me that those people are not supportive because they see me making a change and they’re upset because they don’t have the courage to do it. Eventually I’d like to start having open conversations with people in my life who treat me that way but I’m not ready yet, I’m focused on myself right now and the early stages of my sober journey.

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I never say “sorry I don’t drink”

I say “I don’t drink”

Why would I be sorry about that?

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There are some really great replies here. I’m gonna go the other way with this… Getting sober will fix all of your problems Quitting drinking will fix a lot of problems, but it isn’t gonna fix the why. What are we escaping from? Why do we need alcohol to cope with life?

Keep on ODAAT

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People think we’re boring and have no lives.

Says the person that goes out every weekend, causes a load of shit, gets arrested then crawls back home. Works all week to repeat the same at weekends, yeah fucking right.

I have the least boring life out of anybody I know, I’m also the most content and happy and probably the fittest and healthiest

But you know. Boring fucker me :smirk:

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