I was doing so good I was almost 2 weeks sober from alcohol and went to dinner with my boyfriend who’s actually an alcoholic and drug user. And of course he was irritated because he obviously was coming down and in the middle of dinner decided to leave me at the restaurant! At this point I was upset and didn’t want to cause a scene so I caved in and got a drink. But when I drink it’s never one or two it’s numerous. I woke up feeling horrible but it was the way I could numb the feeling of being alone. At this point in my life I have to put myself first and if he doesn’t want to do better I can’t make him and he can continue without me. I’m just more upset that all my hard work of staying sober went down the drain 
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It sounds like you’re in a really difficult situation. You got 2 really good weeks under your belt. It didn’t go to waste. It seems like you really are going to have to put yourself first. You’re worth it. This trying to be sober shit is really hard. Especially if your significant other is still partaking. Believe me I know. We got to make some really hard decisions. It’s taken me many years to realize if I have a drink with wifey it ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS leads to 3 or 4 or 10 drinks. Always.
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That time isn’t wasted at all. You started something very difficult and it’s a step along the way. Did you learn something from falling off the wagon? Because if you did, and you’re able to use it to help further your recovery, then the relapse isn’t a failure, it’s a learning experience. I can guarantee that just about everyone here has relapsed at some point–some of us have done it numerous times. What matters is that you get right back to being sober. Next time you will get more than two weeks. You’ll see. You can do it.
Edit:
The video in the thread linked below might be of interest to you, so I’m leaving it here just in case.
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As everyone else has said, your hard work isn’t down the drain. It’s just not over yet.
And…he LEFT YOU AT THE RESTAURANT!!! In my humble opinion, you may want to think hard about whether you want to stay with this guy. You deserve better. You deserve sobriety. You do not deserve someone who will abandon you and prioritize using over you.
Stop wasting your love on him and start giving to yourself instead
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Does he live with you and your 2 sons? If so get rid of him, they are the most important thing not him! He is adding nothing to their welfare, growth, security…etc.
Edit: not meant to be harsh but really think about why you’re with him; you deserve only the best.
“I am grateful to not have a alcohol drug addict abusing ex bf…I am grateful for my 2 young boys and my supportive family:raised_hands: And I’m also grateful for going to work everyday with no hangover 
”
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His behaviour reflects zero support, understanding or consideration for you, as a person and as a person trying to get sober. Cut ties with him. He will stand in your way to a better life.
Wishing you strenght.
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Hi Jennifer,
You may not like what I have to say but as you have said before you have a few good sober weeks then your drinking starts all over again, it sucks we have all been there. Stopping drinking is hard but staying stopped takes work.
You mentioned your boyfriend in this post and you also mentioned a new boyfriend in January who didn’t drink so I figure this is a newish guy on the scene, if you are serious about sobriety you need to put all your energy into loving yourself which has previously been said. No man/relationship will fix you and having to worry about another addict on top of your own addiction is just adding more pressure.
Did you end up going to AA as you have said before, although I go to AA I understand it’s not the only way sober so it may not be for you but just wishing to get sober doesn’t work. I say this not to attack you but because sometimes sugar coating the seriousness of alcoholism just makes it easier to keep drinking, I wish you the best and hope you choose YOU as the main priority in your life 
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Hi Jenn, first - I’m so sorry to hear about what happened, how he left you in the restaurant: that is inconsiderate and very disrespectful, and as some others here have said, it’s a giant red flag that you need to drop that man.
It sounds like it’s time for you to learn to love yourself. You titled this thread “Misery loves company”. Why? Are you miserable? What is making you feel that way?
Being self-aware, exploring our feelings openly and honestly - fearlessly - with ourselves and our sober teammates, is essential for lasting recovery. (If we don’t do that, we just keep running to booze to escape our thoughts and feelings.) I use a feelings inventory to help with that:
https://www.cnvc.org/training/resource/feelings-inventory
Then I use a needs inventory to identify what unmet needs these feelings signify:
https://www.cnvc.org/training/resource/needs-inventory
Our feelings are important parts of our survival. We have to learn to read them, in order to live our lives in healthy ways. Sometimes are feelings are difficult - sometimes we feel miserable - and at those times we need to unpack that feeling and use it to figure out what we need to do to feel better. Then we have to do it, fearlessly. Whatever you honestly need, pursue it, persist, and eventually you will come out stronger and better, every time.
It is better not to be looking for romantic relationships at this time. You are very early in sobriety and still finding your footing. You need to learn to love yourself, and be sufficient in yourself, before you can be present with another person in a significant-other relationship. At the moment your judgment is clouded and you can’t see clearly because your addiction still has you walking the path of self-damage. You need to gain your self-respect and self-care back first.
Take care love. You are a good person who has been through some difficult times. You are a good person, a worthy person, and you matter. You belong. Never forget that love. You deserve a safe, sober life where you can be your full self. Never, ever give up on that 
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I’m so sorry this happened to you. That is a tough situation. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You need someone who supports you and treats you with respect. Focus on yourself and healing.
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Gm I love the title of your post, this isn’t the best situation either. By it does seem like you know what you may have to do. AA is a selfish program and I once had to leave someone behind that I care for dearly its not easy but in the end you feel so much better about yourself. Have you extended a offer for a detox to him or what?
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Misery loves company? Maybe, but we do have a choice regarding the company we keep.
As my sober friend @CaptAZ likes to say, two dead batteries can’t jump start a car.
He made his choice, and this is quite telling: he chose the high over you, when he left you at the restaurant.
If I am not mistaken, this guy isn’t the father of your sons. If I am mistaken, I apologize. Regardless, you have a choice to make. Sobriety and your children, or a cycle of addiction. I hope you choose wisely.
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Thank you
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Yeah I had a few bday party dinners this weekend and will just stay home and focus on my recovery 
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Thanks again and when I get a moment I will watch what you sent
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Thanks so much for your kind words and when I was sober for the two weeks I was already questioning where this relationship was going and if I should even stay? But obviously it’s clear and his decision was made. I need to work on me for now and my sobriety
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Hi Donna and no he doesn’t live with us or even my kids dad. So yeah I know i deserve better and so does my kids. It’s like I didn’t leave a shitty situation to get in a worst one!
My kids father was also an alcoholic and drug user and that’s why I left him . But now on to focusing on my self and sobriety
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Yeah I’m in the process of letting him go and leaving and just focus on my self
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No and your right. I left my kids father the end of last year for the same reason he was an alcoholic and drug addict. And this guy at first it was fine he really didn’t show any signs of anything until the last few months. But at this point the time I was sober I was already questioning where I stood in his life which the drugs and booze are his priority. So at this point I’m done with him and hope to stay strong. And I did attend AA meetings and actually started again but online yesterday.
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You just made my day; I’m so glad you’re here… 
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