Moderating drinking ... thoughts please

I can quite easily not drink all week but come the weekend my drinking can get out of hand … binge drinker.
Sometimes I can control it and remain conscious of what I am doing. Other times something overtakes me and I have no control, ending with a blackout and unable to see it coming or why.
Is moderating drinking achievable?
Would appreciate any thoughts on this.

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If one’s drinking gets out of control and leads to negative consequences like hangover and blackouts , then he is an alcoholic…
If you can stop after fews sips then you are not…
Decide for yourself if u can tolerate a little…
If you control it then you cannot enjoy it , if u enjoy then you may not be able to control it

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Moderating you drinking is ok if your not a Alcoholic but only you can decide that , maybe try and not drinking at all for a few weeks see how you feel wish you well

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Hey! I am actually studying substance abuse counseling and harm reduction is a thing. Harm reduction includes moderate use and is a recent trend because abstinence is not for everyone. Everyone is unique and what works for one may not work for another.

However, it takes a lot of self control to go the moderation route and it may not be for you. It’s not an excuse to let your addiction get out of hand and simply call it moderation because you don’t drink daily. If you aren’t making progress and getting control over your habit, moderation might not be for you. Abstinence may be something that works better for your needs. And that’s okay too. There’s no right or wrong, it’s about finding what helps you and works for you.

Just try and take a good look at what you think would help. Is moderation what you need or is it simply a way for you to excuse your behaviour?

Hope this helps!

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Hi Nobrelle. That was me about 5 years ago. Matters got steadily worse and I now have a criminal record and am facing trial again next month. I never thought I was the sort of person who’d be a criminal, but that’s what can happen in a blackout. A drink problem never gets better as we age - only steadily worse, because we are essentially poisoning our brains and bodies and as we get older, our brains and bodies have less tolerance for it. For years I tried to control or moderate my drinking and it just got worse. It was so much hard work, too - far more difficult than choosing abstinence which I did 5 months ago. I am so much healthier now and wouldn’t want to once more have the kind of problem you express here. If you don’t seek support now, there are only three places that you can go from here - jail, psychiatric hospital or early death. The criminal justice system is harsh and painful and I wouldn’t want that to happen to others.

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I don’t know if moderate drinking is possible for you, but I know it is not possible for me, at least with any regularity that I could call my past attempts “successful”. The best proof is my being a member of this forum.

Clean and Sober means exactly that, at least for me. Only you can decide what it means for you.

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I can only speak from my experience. Only you can decide if your an alcoholic.
So as far as my experience goes, i was not successful at the whole moderation thing. I tried switching up alcohol, like ill just drink wine but no liquor or beer. Ill just drink beer no liquor. Ill just drink liquor but no beer. And not one of the combinations worked, not one!
I also tried just drinking on weekends and not through the week, never worked. It still resulted in blackouts and next day sorry’s.
Its like i have a switch in my head and the only options on the switch are on and more, no off switch. Non alcoholics know there limits, alcoholics dont. And they have an off switch.
I suffer from a disease called alcoholism. Its cunning, baffling, and powerful. When i take that first drink, the phenominom of craving releases and im drinking to get drunk… im drinking until i either pass out or money is gone. Getting sick didnt do anything for me bc that just left more room to drink. Like who in there right mind pukes and then drinks more. I dont have to do that today though, thank god!
But the good thing is, there is a solution to our problem. We dont drink one day at a time… I have 14 months sober by the grace of god. I had to reach out and ask for help. I go to aa meetings and have a sponsor and support group. I couldnt have gotten sober all by myself. I also use this app as a form of support also.
Have you tried AA meetings before? Just to go and listen to see if you can relate to anything? Just an idea for ya…
Im not saying your an alcoholic by any means, but to help you decide if you are… i hope this helps!

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Hi… drinking moderately or controlled drinking does get mentioned often in my smart group sessions…I remember going along time ago saying that I wanted to do controlled drinking…it didn’t work…! I suppose I knew deep down that I had a big problem with alcohol but was not ready to accept that then…and I thought that ‘proper alcoholics’ lived on the street etc…I know now that alcohol does not discriminate against anyone! And that person on the street could easily be me…I wish you could take a long hard look at yourself and be honest…if you really think you can control it…give it a rest for 3 months… I hope you make the right decision for you…

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I was the same exact way. I didn’t drink during the week at all, could even go a couple of weeks if needed. But when I drank…I drank! It was a let’s see how wasted I could get. Obviously that was never my plan, but it always happened. I personally never truly attempted moderation, and a part of me thinks I could do it. But I asked myself when I started this journey, what’s the point? Let’s say I set aside one day a month to drink, or even one day a week, what would be the advantage, some sort of reward? The only times I’ve been able to have one or two was when I had things to do the following day, and I knew at some point in the future I’d be able to get smashed again. So if I did try moderation I’d constantly be after a feeling I wouldn’t be able to achieve, and eventually I’d be back to where I was. So for me, it HAD to be all or nothing. Today marks 216 days, and I see no reason to go back to what I was. Just my 2 cents. You do you.

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Moderate drinking is a slippery slope for me. This is the first time i decided to totally quit because I realized that my moderate drinking turns to binge drinking very quickly. I have no control of my portions once I’ve had a few. The more I have, the more I drink. Then I wake up hung over and not remembering things I had done. So I’m sober 6.5 days now and doing alright with it. I just don’t want to be that person anymore. I don’t want to be that parent to my children.

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Jramos…same for me. I looked in the virtual mirror and did not like what I saw…! I knew what I wanted to see and that is a good dad, good husband and try and be a nice person…all only possible without alcohol!

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I started out with SMART Groups. They are a good way of moving towards abstinence before you are ready for abstinence. Recovery is a long journey that starts before abstinence. When I chose abstinence, I could no longer handle the SMART Groups because I couldn’t be with active-users while in early recovery. I did the SMART Facilitator training and could maybe start a SMART Group after I am a year clean, along with someone else.

Hi tango…I am thinking of doing the smart course too…but I am not ready yet…87 days…but have one of my next steps/ goal to do it…there are users at the group but as you know smart advocate abstinence… I seen controlled drinkers change to abstinence which is good and usually the right decision…where are you from…i am from England

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I could never be a moderate drinker. The reason is the buzz…I’m always drinking to keep the buzz and pretty quickly that buzz turns to sloppy, slurry, sleepy drunk. I’m better off staying away from any sort of buzz.

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So, are you all saying that a person, who drinks on average every other day, lets say 2 glasses of wine does not have a problem? For me that was enough to wake up the next morning with hangover and blurry memory. I probably blacked out maybe 3 or 4 times in 10 years, but my drinking was very much real, I was hiding it and no one knew I was drinking regularly. I also never puked from it.
For me, that was a problem, especially since I realised that I need that 2 glasses to feel more relaxed and less anxious. If it wasnt wine it was one beer. Or 2 or 3 shots. And I was constantly feeling blah when I woke up. I dont do anymore, havent had a drink in 31 days.
For me, it was a problem. And I could never moderate it in a way that I would only drink when socialising…it always led back to every second day…

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Lots of really good advice. In the end you must decide if the fight to moderate your drinking is worth it. In the beginning of the AA big book there is a chapter called the doctors opinion. It explains some things including having an allergy to alcohol. It might be worth looking at to see if it helps. There are online free copies. Whatever you decide I wish you the best.

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For me i had to decide to close that door, moderate drinking is not for me .but i did hope … it is what it is im a alcoholic so thats my answer . Only you can decide what to do or not . Im hoping u will find your path . Fingers crossed

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Thank you to you all for taking the time to respond. Really appreciate all the advice.
It’s early stages for me accepting or admitting I am an alcoholic. Maybe I am delaying the inevitable - that complete abstinence is really the only way to go for me. I am tired of fighting it and want to make long term changes.
Thanks again

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I know you received plenty of feedback, but hey, why not some more!

My endless attempts at moderating my drinking we, well, endless! I drove me nuts because I seemed to be able to control my drinking, as it was molded around the school year and our summer business.

No drinking Sunday through Thursday, September through May: check.

No drinking two more then every third or fourth day during summer: check.

Visiting teetotallerin family for the holidays: easy.

Stopping for a couple weeks, couple months to get the wifey off my case: gotchou fam.

But after one drink, I never knew how bad it was going to be. And it was NOT always bad. It usually was not, though it was usually more than I wanted. Nearly always more than I wanted. Rarely bad, but never in my control.

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The more feedback the better. This has been so useful.
I have tried moderating before, setting rules and it’s not long until the see-saw tips and I have an “incident”. I guess I just desperately want to be the girl that can just have one or two drinks and maintain control. That’s just not me I am afraid

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