Lets talk moderation. Any thoughts because it baffles my mind how anyone can do this. How about the non drinkers comment too.
Before this conversation takes off, let’s stick to the rules of the forum and discuss what we can do to maintain sobriety.
Rather than posting about using, try to keep your focus on how you want to stop using. This is a sobriety focused site - promoting moderation can negatively impact members’ sobriety.
Here’s a link to the rules for reference
I see you are a new member, welcome!!!
There are many threads on moderation here. You can use the search feature and put in moderation and you will find lots of discussions on the topic.
Also, please keep in mind this is a sobriety forum, so we try to focus on what helps us achieve sobriety, rather than pursuing moderation.
Here is just one of many threads that discuss moderation…
First off welcome to the forum
Personally for me moderation is not an option. And we can be talking about almost anything. I’m an all or nothing kind of person. If I buy a package of cookies with plans to eat them I can almost guarantee I will eat the whole package and same goes for alcohol so for me it’s best to just stay away. (This is also why I tend to not buy cookies lol)
Who was that lady who promoted moderation, wrote books about it, then killed two people while drunk driving? It was a whole thing. She ended up killing herself in prison.
I am scared to try to drink again. I have tried getting sober several times. Then said, " I’m fine now. I can have a drink every now and then."
And I can! I can have some drinks here and there without issue. Until I can’t. And I get wasted and do something that I regret, again.
Or miss out on something fun or important because I am hungover. Until I am drinking every day again when I promused myself that I wouldn’t.
Here’s my list of benefits of moderation instead of abstinence…
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Welcome to the forum Linda.
I tried moderation for ten years… Never worked. I can not drink at all. Once I accepted that, things started to get better. I never regret waking up sober, but I will always regret that first drink because I know it will soon lead to too many too often. I am an alcoholic. My brain is wired differently. Moderation will never work for me. I’m so happy I finally accept that and also know that I am not alone. No one else would have suspected I was an alcoholic. I was highly functioning continued with my job and my responsibilities but I would drink almost every night could never have just one. I did not like who I was when I drank. I never did anything seriously horrible, never had a DUI (although there were times I know I should not have gotten behind the wheel), Alcohol changed my mood and how I responded to my family and the choices that I made. I was hiding/sneaking my drinking, I started having stomach problems, I would wake up with anxiety from the alcohol, and felt like crap most of the time even though to everyone else on the outside I looked completely put together and healthy. I’m so happy that I found this place and I’m on my second attempt since finding this forum. I went 24 days and then relapsed, but now I’m back to day 23 and I feel amazing. There’s still some ups and downs but my life is so much better without any alcohol in it.
Made my night lol
Someone here used to say, I’d rather go through life sober wondering if I’m an alcoholic, than drunk wondering if I can get sober.
Was true for me too. Like so the others above, I tried so long to moderate but each time just ended up drinking more and getting more miserable and isolated every time.
What I didn’t expect until sobriety was the goal was that in a weird way sobriety was actually easier. Once my goal was clear cut: don’t drink, I felt less anxious. It wasn’t something I was trying to control anymore. I just wasn’t drinking or I was. Having it be that black and white was liberating!
Too many mental and emotional calories spent living in the grey area of moderation. Always wondering what was too much, keeping schedule, keeping score on myself. It was exhausting and no amount of booze actually added anything to my life, but it sure liked to make things worse.
Honestly, adjusted for a sober life, there’s not a darn thing I miss about drinking.
That was a great way to put it and really helpful, thank you for your input!
Love this post and love the first quote. Soooo true.
I’m more on the marijuana side, and I’ve never experienced moderation, NEVER! It’s crazy but true. If I got ash or weed with me, I’ll smoke it till it’s gone.
That’s what I did for years, and years. It wasn’t like that at the beginning though.
I know the concept of moderation with alcohol, but…in the end it doesn’t last. I don’t drink for the taste of it. My family produce wine, since 1814 (yeah), i definitely know what a couple of hundreds dollars a bottle taste like, and it’s good…but I never really drink alcohol for the taste of it, I like the effect, and there’s no limit till I black out.
There’s no moderation for addicts. I know I am an addict.
Conclusion: abstinence.
Yep. I can’t have one drink either.
This is my story I could have written the exact same post. Congrats on your sobriety
Im an all or nothing person so cant moderate anything, however these days im attempting to use the things im good at, are healthy and make me happy to excess instead