Writing about movement has helped me; sports and physical challenges, and how I engage with them, is a way I have processed life.
I can thank my father for this ability, he always pushed me to win against myself and he supported my ability to play through any rough terrain and cope with emotional and physical fatigue. I feel immense gratitude towards my dad for imparting his knowledge of sports onto me.
Through sobriety, I started to do yoga realizing that even if significant knowledge was gained from the sports and activities I played (hockey, snowboarding, biking, etc), I needed to learn patience, flexibility, stamina and to hold better ground. I needed to reconnect to my body in a new way. Yoga has taught me that it is not about being good, winning, it’s about embracing change in all its transformations and difficulty.
I want to journal my process of coming to terms with my addiction to weed and using movement to help.
Oh boy are they real.
Appetite runs crazy too. It can be difficult to eat from nausea either stopping you eating, or when you do eat you feel nauseous.
Anyone who says it’s all psychological is bullshitting… It’s absolutely and undeniably physical.
Back to the movement part of this… It’s incredibly humbling when you start any kind of yoga/balance/movement based exercise and realise it kicks your arse in ways you never comprehended. There is soooooo much strength involved in doing it properly. Deep respect for those who have trained their body that way. It’s a very functional and elegant discipline.
There’s something so liberating about riding a bicycle that’s hard to match. A perfect combination of human and machine, gliding effortlessly (or effortfully) under your own momentum.
I remember a summer in a foreign country, slogging on foot and using transit to get everywhere, bound by timed stops. After a few weeks I got a bike, and nothing could have felt more freeing. Gliding through streets with the wind in the hair. It felt like the world was suddenly within reach, moving silently up to meet me. Suddenly reconnected.
Just chiming in with support. I am a big fan of Katy,Bowman 's approach: https://www.nutritiousmovement.com/
(BTW, I disclose if any resources I recommend are my professional sports sponsors, mostly I just avoid talking about them here altogether.)
I feel blessed that I am one of those people for whom weed has only profoundly awful effects! Best wishes on your journey
Only two words about road cycling in the USA:
I love this feeling too! I’m really looking forward to warmer weather, then I’ll bike to work and back. It’s between 7-9 km per ride, depends on what route I choose.
I was forced to get one because public transportation was on strike here and I somehow had to get to work, that was the kick in the butt I needed.
Our office does a special event in may, everyone who uses his bike to get to work has to count all km. For every 20 km completed a tree will be planted. I wanna be on board, I hope it’s warmer then If it’s too cold my faces flares up with eczema, that’s not fun
tonight, i decided to try a new yoga channel; I’m there, I need to change something from the unending sameness that is addiction for me at the moment. well, it was weird. I initially reacted with hardcore judgement; what the fuck is this? why is she doing that? what is this for? I kept being annoyed that everything was ‘‘different’’. I kept having a hard time being open minded. It occurred to me after that, that’s the same thing with weed usage: I’m stuck with this addiction, I cannot move and everything feels daunting. I have staled, and I have developed an inability to welcome new. I am using to stay the same?
After the practice, I read the description of the yoga channel, and it all made sense; it’s a reinvention, amazing…:
*Yogea is an innovative approach to Yoga that re-imagines the standard Vinyasa flow through creative sequencing, graceful transitions, playful asana, artful mudra and an up-to-date holistic philosophy. *
*Yogea’s signature style pioneers an innovative asana lab – Innovasana Think-Tank and reforms adopted principles of sequencing, structure and flow to create a Wonderland Yogic experience.
With some sun starting to appear and anxiety on the up as I tinker with meds and general life choices I am trying to incorporate more movement.
I am still trying to find the right level that doesn’t wipe me out and also trying not to make comparisons to former fitness levels that leave me totally bummed out! It means I mainly have to stick to the soft, slow and restful side of things but there is beauty and joy to be found there. Especially with sun and breeze on skin and birdsong in the background. Not so many endorphins haha but like you say it is about embracing change and not just winning.
Regardless, definitely feeling the idea that movement is a great way to help things shift emotionally.