Multiple failures

I’ve been trying to get clean since I was 18. I’m now 36 and a complete failure. I’ve tried everything but I just cant get past the first couple days. I have no clue what to do. I’m at the edge and there seems to be nothing good for me in sight. So lost…

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Hi! Don’t think like that! Every addict can change his life! The will to change has to be bigger than your fears… You also have to be motivated to change, and have goals! Tell me, have you already tried to go to meetings and to a rehabilitation centre to detox? If you can’t do it alone, that might be a good tool for you to get through the first days/week…

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Have you ever been to NA or AA🙂

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How bad is it? Drinking every day? Are you doing drugs while drinking? Is your body so full of toxins that you need detox? Or are you just simply tired of making horrible decisions when you are under the influence? Regardless, you are stronger than this. Remind yourself of all of the negative things that has happened based off your time being messed up. Do you have kids? I was once told ‘if you cant do it for yourself, at least do it for your kids.’ You can do this. Trust me. Just keep coming back here and reading other people’s stories. Try AA or NA. I’ve been there, done that. My will to live a sober life is pretty strong without AA. I’m not saying that will work for you bc it works for me. Another thing that keeps me going is the fact that I dont ever want my children seeing their mother drunk, getting angry, making horrible decisions. They are 4 and 6. Still pretty young. But I still dont ever want them to grow up with an angry, alcoholic mother.

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I’m curious what you consider “everything”? If you’re anything like me (or really, like most of us on this forum) it’s really been “everything that isn’t hard or scary”. Have you tried meetings, rehab, therapy?

I don’t mean this flippantly…but the truth is that recovery is hard and we have to work hard to get it. Like everything else in life, if it’s worth having it’s worth working for. It’s time to get out of your comfort zone because that is where the real joy is.

YOU CAN DO IT!! (I know you can)

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What kind of things have you tried? Maybe we can help think of different options

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I have tried rehab detox meetings. I’m not in a position where I can go to a detox without losing my job and my wife. I have no family or friends so if I lose both of those I will have nowhere to live and no work . I’m truly lost on how to go about this. I’m a heroin addict and have been since I was 14

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I understand it and I know it’s hard… but you’ll have to put yourself on the first place right now! If you want to get better and work on your addiction, you’ll have to make sacrifises… Maybe you should go and talk to your boss to find a solution… like a little break from your job, so you can work on yourself. Idk what the options are for you, but it’s just a suggestion!

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I’m a heroin addict in recovery, are you still suffering through the physical addiction or are your on any type of maintenance medication.
This time around I have done it with bupenorphrine which during that time I have entrenched myself in NA. Now tapered off medication and abstinent from any and all mind and mood altering substances, any other way just did not work for me. If your willing to put in the work which it seems you are then you can do it :slightly_smiling_face::+1:

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I’m not on any maintenance and currently on day 1 of withdrawal. I have no money and nothing to help. I know I did this to myself. I just dont know what to do. I just cant do this anymore. I’m physically and mentally exhausted

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Do you have to pay for things like that in the US. Cold turkey is hard but worth it , staying clean is about more than just not using that’s why things like this app and na help. Stick around and read some relevant threads you can search them from the top of the main page :+1::slightly_smiling_face:

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Yes . Here we have to pay for everything

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I’m sure I have seen that there are ways around this , if your working out may be hard to go through full on withdrawals tbh. Maybe tech out to @Englishd who commented earlier on your thread, I think he has some good information on things like this and can recommend different avenues available to you locally in the recovery field :+1:

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You are not a failure. Not a failure.
You have some incredibly challenging, important work cut out for you, but you have motivation, priorities, and goals.
Your life literally depends on this. Use this forum like the lifeline that it is. Read, listen to all the various suggestions these wonderful people offer up with hope and caring. Something will click for you.

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She does not know. She does not understand my problem and absolutely will not be of any support. If I tell her then I 100% can expect a divorce.

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Can you stay sober for today?

Can you promise yourself that.

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Honestly I dont know. I dont know much of anything at this point

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It’s really simple man. I am a heroin addict too.
Simplify life for ourselves.
You do not have to stay sober forever. You just have to stay sober today. Revisit that plan everyday.

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Unfortunately I don’t know too much about heroin…my drug is alcohol…but I know you will find specific help here. I just want to share that I’ve heard over and over and over again that you have to put your recovery at the very top of your list…100% of your attention. That might mean you need to take the risk to quit your job. Also you might find that your wife would want you to go to detox rather than you continue with your addiction. But ultimately you have to make the best decision for yourself. It may feel selfish at the moment but in the long run everyone will benefit better from a sober you.

Good luck,

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Sorry, I just saw this part. I didn’t realise she didn’t know.

However, I do suspect “100%” is not real…it’s just your fear.

Ultimately I believe that the people who matter, truly matter in our lives, will be there for us in the long run. It may not be right away…they have their own part to deal with in these situations…but in the long run they’ll see what was best for all.

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